I woke up to the stars twinkling
in the black sky, soon drinking my coffee, planning my day.
What to do? Where to start? Endless tasks on my mind,
suddenly thoughts of someone, flit through
my thoughts, settled in and stayed.
No thoughts of chores, problems or what have you,
thinking thoughts of someone, much deeper than those.
My day starts being better with positive thoughts,
happy thoughts and full of love. Till the dark force
shows its face once again through the face of the bad man.
The bad man who lives with anger, temper, meanest ,
never shows compassion or caring without a selfish motive.
Tears my innards apart with upset, nervousness and fear.
Builds up over time until I can stand it no longer.
Plans made to escape my reality, road blocks appear,
must restart again, stick to my plan no matter what.
need to follow through before my life disappears,
and I am, but a shadow of my true self.
Need to do this as fast as I can
but things keep getting in the way.
Please Lord, do not let me sway
for someone else, for their problems.
Why should my life take the backseat once more?
I feel invisible once again, but trying hard to use it
to my advantage, to escape this nightmare,
this nightmare called my life.
Every day, I begin again, hoping for what?
An easier road to travel, joyful times in my future,
or are they just a vision for something that never
materializes or becomes my reality, I cry in pain
at that thought. Please let my escape become real.
Please let me live again. I once did. I gave it up for what?
For a man, for more than a few men. Who overcame me,
took my freedom, my thoughts, my control and yes,
then my life too. My life too.
Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole
All Photographs Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole