Saturday, September 14, 2019

Regrets Can Be Overcome

No matter how you live or what you do, others will always judge you. Instead of living your whole life trying to conform to their rules for YOUR life, disregard every judging remark they make. Yes, sometimes you might be wrong in not listening to them. If so, you will learn on your own. That is what we all must do. How many times have you heard a parent, a grandparent or friend tell you that they are just trying to save you from regret or hurt? If you do it your way and find out that maybe it is the wrong thing to do. But it was your choice and now you know. Sometimes though, their thoughts about your life was not right for you. The reason is because we are all different. Nobody, not even our parents or siblings have our thoughts or feelings. We are interested in certain things and they are not. And we have no interest in what they think is important.

Maybe that is why our parents' dreams for us when we are growing up cause so much pain, arguments and separations. Your heart is set on a certain path and your parents want "what is best for you" and "an easier life" for your future. Can't blame them for that. When we are young it is hard to live the way they want us to. We want to be like our friends. Taking up bad habits to fit in. Measuring our popularity by how cool our friends think we are. Knowing our parents won't approve of certain friends or lifestyle. Moving away from our families so we can be free to be who we want to be.

So you go through the years rebelling against your parents' dreams for you. Now not everyone does that. Some people settle down and listen to their parents and follow a path that will make their life easier. Not saying all parents have the right plans for their children either. Years later though, you may look back with regret that you did not listen to your parents and follow their plan for your life. You will never know if it would have been better for you or not. If you are older now and look back with an open mind, you may think how tough your life turned out. Looking back pinpointing every single mistake you made. How sad that because of those decisions your life turned out hard and stressful. It happens!

Regrets. Regrets. Regrets. I know for myself, now at this age, 67, I see many of those regrets. And they usually involved men. How could I have thought my life was centered on men? I did though. At a crucial spot in my life of doing something that would improve my future (like starting college, a job, moving, etc.), a man would show up in my life and stop all that progress. They always set me back. I have been married three times and not once did I get to the end of a marriage with any happy thoughts. Just relief that it was over. I spent my time encouraging and building their self-confidence up and getting nothing back in return.

Oh sure, in my first marriage, I lived the good life with plenty of money, nice cars, home, vacations, clothes and jewelry. It was not enough. When you come right down to it, money and material possessions are not enough to buy your happiness or love. Even gold diggers get bored with that life after awhile. I think that may be why you see rich couples cheating on each other so much. Breaking up. One or both of them bored with the other. Being with someone who is only thinking of their self. Feeling neglected or jealous of the children that came along. That is no way to live!

I am no expert on marriage by any means. In fact, it is where I failed badly. My life has improved so much since I moved into my own place. I have friends now. I go places. Do things I hadn't ever done or at least hadn't done in years. So just because you had a rough life in the past, does not mean it will continue that way. All you have to do is put out some effort to make the changes you want. Life is not waiting around for you to live the way you want. You are responsible for that. If you go to sleep every night wishing you were somewhere else..........then in the morning make a list of what you need to do to make that change. 

Copyright © 2019 Kathleen G. Lupole
All Photographs Copyright © 2019  Kathleen G. Lupole

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