My Life Had To Change

An Aframe I saw in my travels

Lately I have been watching a video channel that is about a younger woman who has a lot of adventures. Building an awesome Aframe cabin on a remote property she bought. Setting up a wall tent and camping out alone. No fear of wild animals in the thick forest around her. No fear of going out on the huge lake that borders her property by herself. Clearing the land for the camp and the cabin as a surprise for her husband. I appreciate the fact that she films her walks in the forest as she discovers what is on her new property. She does it all with enthusiasm and skills for the various jobs needed. Yes, I envy her. Wishing I had been more like her. Maybe that is why I find myself watching videos about women living off the grid or exploring remote areas. 

With my brother and holding a doll

The fact is that I was never a "tomboy" type of girl. I don't know if I would have been capable of doing physical jobs that involved skills I see as male jobs. I never attempted them. I was not a brave type of girl or woman even after I grew up. As a little girl I played with dolls and I had a lot of them. Dolls and books were my favorite things back then. In fact, I learned to read and write before I even started school. I always liked the outdoors though. Especially the forest. When I lived in Florida as a child, I made a hut out of palmettos that would stay dry even in a storm. I wrote stories and made books out of onion skin paper. The hut was called "Africa" and my friend, Cindy and I would be in there writing our books to take to school. At that age the thought of snakes in the hut never crossed my mind! Now it would. 

Peaceful Forest

Even though I have lived in various places through out my life the one that stands out the most to me now is my last home. Peaceful Forest. My off the grid homestead that was in the middle of the state forest. It was very peaceful. If I had it to do over again would I? Absolutely! I think it would have been easier for me as I got older, if instead of living in the house, I had a tiny house or a camper to live in. I craved my own bedroom, a private space for me. I felt there was no room for me there. It was dusty from wood stoves and firewood being brought in. I was not comfortable when the wood stoves made it too hot. In the middle of the night I would get so hot I would go outside and sit on the porch to cool off.

Conifer Bug aka "Stink Bug"

Then there was the problem of "conifer" bugs or "stink bugs" and mice. They were everywhere! In the fall the bugs would come in on schedule in September. Hibernate through out the house. Then if the house got too warm from the stoves, out they would come. Dropping down from the ceiling right next to me! I would smell them before I would see them. The mice was another constant problem. Even with four cats who killed them regularly. They were in areas of the house where the cats could not go. I could not set up my kitchen and pantry the way I wanted it due to the mice. They would get into my dishes, silverware, pots and pans, etc. They did not get into the food so much but I did protect it by putting it in containers that they could not access. This alone wore on my nerves. I felt like they were making me go crazy. 

Batteries

Another thing that bothered me and maybe I was wrong about this. It was the batteries for the off the grid electric system. For years they were on the floor in the living room. In the main living area of our house. Where we spent a good many hours on the computer. I even ended up sleeping on the couch there right next to them. The big wood stove was within feet of the battery bank! Opening it to add wood while the batteries are letting off gases while charging. Scared me constantly that it was not a safe way to live. Also the wood stoves didn't always feel safe to me either. That is the main reason I started sleeping downstairs on the couch. So I could keep an eye on them during the night. 

My home for 7 years now!

These reasons along with my mobility issues are why I left that home and life. My life had to change. Giving up living in the forest was easier once I knew my cat had been killed by a bear. It still bothers me to this day. Nine years ago. At this time in my life I am content to watch the videos about others having adventures and building remote homes. It is not something I could have done anyway. Though I also enjoy watching videos about traveling and living in other locations I would not want to do that either. Maybe I am a "homebody" preferring to be in my own home. I am not sad about it because there are plenty of things I do. Being an introvert makes living alone easy. I like making my own choices on what I will do each day. 

 

Copyright © 2025 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2025 Kathleen G. Lupole