10 Items That Makes Aging In Place Easier

As a person ages, things change. Your body, your health, your ability do do things, your memory, your financial situation or your daily life. Face it! Everything changes! Actually your life changes from day one but when you get to a certain age life starts changing fast. My own life started changing as soon as I reached the magic age of fifty. If I had to pinpoint when I started noticing the aging process it was that year. It is not bad or something to get upset about. Just the life cycle. It will happen to everyone soon enough. 

Since moving to my apartment six years ago I have embraced my own aging process. Accepted it and tried to make it easier which I could not do in my previous home. I hear people worrying about not being able to age in place in their present homes. They are scared to make the change and don't know what to do about it. I am fortunate to have made the change and moved into an apartment set up for that purpose. I call it "disabled friendly" and it is.

Ten Items I Use:

There are still aids you can use wherever you live to help you do whatever you need to do. This is a list of ten items I have found that help me almost daily. There are many more than these but for me these are the ones I use now. 

1. Back Scratcher

A back scratcher with a long handle can be used for more than scratching. It is handy for rubbing a pain in your feet or elsewhere. I carry mine on my walker so I have immediate access to it. 

2. Picker Upper

The picker upper I have belonged to my mother and when I brought it home after she had died I kept it for sentimental reasons. Now I use it for things I cannot reach. It is very handy for me now.

3. Shoe Horn

I have a shoe horn with a long handle and I use it daily for putting my shoes on. I cannot reach my feet easily and this shoe horn is a necessary for putting my shoes on. 

4. Eye Glass Cleaner

I have to clean my glasses every morning. They get spotted up and for my safety I need to know where I am going. I have a spray cleaner and an eye glass cloth used for that purpose that the eye doctor gave me. Life is easier when you can see clearly. Don't want to fall!

5. Jar Opener

I cannot tell you how valuable I find the jar opener. I get frustrated with not being as strong as I used to be. I definitely need this tool to open jars. 

6. Cups with Lids

I drink a lot of water and electrolytes so have a cup near me most of the day. I have noticed that I spill things more often than I used to. Don't know if that is an aging thing or what but having cups with lids helps. I have not found a coffee cup I like with a lid since I prefer ceramic coffee cups not steel or plastic.

7. Tray Table

I confess......I eat in front of my computer. Since my table is set up for my computer equipment that was the only place to eat. Now I have an adjustable tray table that is light and easy to move around my apartment. I move it to my computer chair and face away from the computer when I am eating. I like it better for eating my meals. 

8. Portable Table

The portable table is a lot larger than the tray table. It folds up flat to fit behind a door. I can set it up in a minute. Mostly I use it for projects I am working on. Or if I am hosting a coffee hour with my friends in my apartment. I could put a table cloth over it and serve a meal on it if I chose to do so.

9. Walkers 

I actually own four walkers. Two rollator types, with wheels and a seat. One stationary one that has four legs. The stationary one is handy inside my apartment not so much for walking, but I can lean on it while doing something. Also good for getting out of a chair or bed. The ones with wheels I use for walking all the time now. The fourth one is designed for going up and down stairs. 

10. Toilet Seat Riser

The toilet seat riser is for anyone that has a low positioned toilet. I had a new toilet put in a couple of years ago and the maintenance man should have known better than getting a low one for a disabled person. I was so disappointed but had to live with it. So I ordered the seat riser and it works for me. I have other items that help make my life easier but that will have to be another blog post. 

Copyright © 2024 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2024  Kathleen G. Lupole

Ask For Help When You Need It

There are many resources in place for the aging population in our country. I can't speak for other states, but New York state has agencies with services to assist you in aging in place at home. Being as independent as possible. I wish I had known about these years ago and could have found help for my parents. My mother had become bedridden and my father had to do everything with only help from their granddaughter and myself. It was tough on him, but he still lived to be 93 years old and pretty much independent. One important fact I have learned is that if you need or want assistance, you must ask for it! Yes, you have to make the calls and set up appointments on your own. 

Now I know many people are scared if you are getting help in your home. They think the next step is moving you into a nursing home. No, that is not what happens at all. I know when I worked in nursing homes we were told that we were seeing the smallest population of the elderly. Many more were living in their own homes independently or in retirement communities. In this time period, the baby boomers are the largest population of senior citizens. Keeping them in their own homes makes more sense. A situation I saw in nursing homes was that a person who lived in their own home might not be able to take care of themselves, let alone their home. That would be the reason they might be taken to a nursing home.  Because by then one of them might be needing more care. Their homes could be unsanitary and may have contributed to their health breaking down. 

What about the families of the elderly? Well, as you may know, many families have split up. They are living all over the country and may not even see each other on a regular basis. Or they are busy with their life. Working jobs that entail long hours and barely enough time to be at their own homes. And face it, some people just do not care to visit their parents or check up on them to see if they need help. If they talk to them on the phone, the parents do not want to complain or ask for help. Not from their kids! They feel they should be helping them not the other way around. I know that too well. I would go to my parents' home at least once a week to give my mother a bath and do her hair. I would color her hair once a month or so. She would cry that she should be doing for me not the other way around. I always told her she already did for me, now it was my turn. To be honest, even though we were always quite close, the conversations we had at this time were very meaningful to me. I treasure them always, as she has been gone now for going on 18 years. 

Another thing that can happen if one of a couple does go into a nursing home due to their health condition and need constant care is the one left at home is now alone. Sometimes the one left at home is not able to do all their spouse had been doing before their illness. Going back and forth between nursing home visits, caring for their home, maybe pets too and their self, guess what gets neglected? Yes, their self! Obviously they will already be depressed over their spouse not being home and not knowing whether they will die or not. I can't speak for all states, but in the state I live, New York, there is help for all of these situations. Obviously, income levels make a difference to qualify for each type of service. Often you will qualify even if you believe your income level is too high. They factor in all kinds of expenses to help you qualify.

If a spouse passes away, some people will not have enough money to live the way they were used to. I have seen many different situations where the surviving spouse was left with Social Security only. In these times of multiple marriages and children there are a lot of cases of the children not wanting to share with the stepparent. If you own a house or have a nest egg, take care of the kids before it comes to this. Even if you do, your own children can become monsters when you die. I would recommend having a family dinner and video taping the whole thing. Tell your family right then and there what will happen after you die and what is to be expected. Then go around the table and ask each and every person if they understand or have any objections. If they do, voice them right now. You can address them in front of the family and on the video. You may think that is overboard, but believe me it is not. No secrets at this time is important. 

I have seen families split up over this type of thing. The weird thing is the children may have treated their stepparent very well for years and never had a problem. Until their parent passed away and left the stepparent a house and some money. Some children never come around their parents until they are dying to make sure they get their share. Even if one of their sibling took care of their parents for many years. I would have that family dinner even if there is no stepparent situation. A split in your family after you are gone due to inheritance will cause a split that lasts forever. I know this for a fact, I have two of those splits in my own family. I will be addressing this topic in upcoming blog posts on this blog. I will try to give you an idea of what type of resources exist and maybe that will give you an idea of how to start in your area. Hopefully it will be of help to someone who is thinking about what would happen. Stay tuned........   

Copyright © 2020 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2020  Kathleen G. Lupole

Updated 2021