Friday, August 19, 2011

Choose Your Own Path



I lived a whole other life at one time. A life of spending time at the mall shopping for relaxation (oh my, I can't believe that was really me back then!). Spending several hours every morning at the local racquet ball court and exercise club for my exercise! A private club? Really! I am not kidding. Maids coming to my house once a week to clean. Yes, that was true too (I can admit with embarrassment now. But that is not all). Going to my hair salon once a month for my hair color and cut. Having a standing appointment every other week to have my artificial nails done. Eating dinner out a few times a week........not fast food..........nice places. It sounds too good to be true, doesn't it?



Well, I can say right now and mean it........I was not happy. The trade off for that lifestyle was that I was married to a very domineering man. A man who controlled all the money because he made it and I did not work. I stayed at home to raise my son. I can't say I minded that arrangement but still, the one who controls the money is the one in charge.



I had a house that backed up to the woods. So even though we were in a housing development, we had nobody behind us. Just ten miles of heavy woods. Deer would come in our yard. I remember trying so hard to find a way to get someone to bring a rototiller to my house to plow a garden plot for me. Never found anyone. A friend of ours who owned a restaurant used to buy the damaged fruits and vegetables from the produce sellers. He'd bring them to me, all full of rotten spots and bruises. After he left I'd toss them out (Who would want them???).



Now after 22 years have gone by and my life has changed so much and so has my way of thinking. I'd never turn my nose up at that produce now! Nope. I know how to cut around those bruises and spots now. You'd never catch me wasting food now!



And the garden? I would have gone out and started digging that ground up. Or I'd have advertised in the newspaper for someone to come plow it up for me. I could have paid someone back then easily.Shoot all my landscaping was done by a garden center, including planting my roses. I had a beautiful deck and I could have planted containers of vegetables and fruits. I didn't know how to can back then, but my father is the one who taught me some years later. He could have taught me back then too.



I guess my message in this post is, don't let anyone hold you back from things you want to do. Find a way to do it. Even if you are a stay at home Mom, you can plant some pots of food on the deck or put some plants in the yard. Do it with your children. You must find a way to put some money aside so that you are not penniless. I know that is the biggest reason why woman stay with husbands who are abusive, verbal or physical, or controlling. One of my friends back then wanted to leave her husband and I took her to the women's center for abused women. The police had to go with her to get her things out of her house. They had their guns drawn as they went up to the house to help her. What kind of situation is that to be in? I didn't have it that bad. Controlling is one thing, but I was free to go and do as I pleased most of the time. Many women are not.


Copyright © 2011 Kathleen G. Lupole
All Photographs Copyright © 2011  Kathleen G. Lupole

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