Saturday, December 28, 2024

A Crazy World We Live In - Apartment Life

Home!

The world has gone crazy. I honestly believe it has. This is not meant to be a political or religious post. It is just that the more people cry and whine about things such as race, gender, religion, age, etc. the worse our society becomes. I agree some changes are good. Not the majority of them though. They go too far. Crying "discrimination" for every little thing. Yet those same ones crying about it are the ones discriminating against others. Bullying people for not understanding what they are telling them. Or judging people who are disabled and cannot read or comprehend simple instructions. I see it almost daily in the apartment building I live in. Because they make the most noise about certain issues they are the ones who get what they want. Often the whiners are not even participating in the event or activity that they were complaining about! 


Coffee Time!

A man in my building yelled "discrimination" about a group of women who want to have coffee together to talk about our feelings or problems with no men present. Yet they had no plans to be at it. Just to complain about it to the management company. So they can say, "I fixed you girls!" I believe since the management company is saying they are correct it is discrimination, then isn't the whole apartment building discriminating against people who are not elderly, disabled or low income? After all you have to meet that criteria to live here. Men and women are different. Regardless of your sexual preference. It goes beyond the physical body. That is why when women are gathering together they talk different than when men are present. The men joke and talk about politics, sports or news. We talk about our menopause, children, our feelings, relationships, our past lives, etc. It is a whole different conversation when the men are not there. 


My hall

It is one of the problems of living in a building such as this. Supposedly we are living independently in our private apartments. In such a close environment it is important to at least try to get along with each other. Easier said than done. One negative person can spoil the whole feeling of our building. Though we have had more than one since I moved in. As I wrote about previously on this blog, we had an "elderly abuse" situation in the past. That was started with a manager and a small group of tenants who banded together to bully others. The ones left over from that group will at times try to bully other tenants. I find the best way to live with people like that is to ignore them. Social media is good in that way that you can put someone on ignore or delete as a friend. Too bad you can't do that in real life. I do not add to their conversation and get away from them as soon as I can. Best to stay off their radar!


Our Backyard

My idea for a "Girl Talk" coffee hour was not meant to do anything secret. Nothing against the men who live here at all. Just the women in my building getting to know each other better. There have been some that I don't know very well and would like to know better. It is good to have a women support group if you have an emergency or problem. Or just to have others you can talk to or turn to if you have that need. People become so concerned with being politically correct that it overtakes common sense. There are many organizations that separate people by gender, color, religion, age or interests. Are they bad? Not at all. Many of these groups get together to discuss their problems or how to help others. Many communities depend on these organizations to improve the lives of others in need. Which is what I thought I would be doing in my building. The men in our building group together outside almost daily smoking and talking. It is not like they are being kept from any social interactions. In fact, us women were in the process of planning activities for the whole building. Like movie nights, game nights and potluck suppers. Without us planning them they don't happen. 


My neighborhood!

For now we are having our coffee hour in someone's apartment. At least they cannot control what we are doing as a group of women in our own apartments...........yet. It is hard if you lose your rights to get them back again. Even in an apartment building. Once they tell you no it can even show up on your lease. The lease, if you read the whole thing, which I do, only protects the landlord, not the tenant. It only favors them and what they want. That is why I always say someday I might end up living in a camper somewhere. I especially love this particular apartment. If I had to leave it I would have to find another place and I don't think it would be another apartment. It is hard to conform to so many rules after you lived with barely any. At times I miss that. 


My Office

If it was just about me and not the others in my building I could live easily with no personal interactions at all. I am on my computer from morning to night. I would not even get off it at night when I do if it wasn't for my pet rabbit. He likes me to turn it off and go sit in the recliner to watch videos. He really does. I can find a million things to do on the computer. I have many online friends to talk to. No matter the time I can always find someone to talk to. Don't say I don't really know them since I do not know them in person. I believe I know them better through our written conversations than small talk in person. The computer creates an environment where you can live easily alone. Which it has for me. But I do have some friends in my building that I have grown close to. Even if it is just to share a cup of coffee and know others care. Making connections helps each other.  




Copyright © 2024 Kathleen G. Lupole
All Photographs Copyright © 2024  Kathleen G. Lupole


 





Friday, December 27, 2024

Two Holidays Down, One More To Go!

Christmas

Two holidays down and one more to go. New Years Day is the easiest of them all in my opinion. Though the other two are no big deal to me anymore. Funny about that. Holidays always caused me more stress than anything else through out the whole year. I can pinpoint it starting the first year I was with my first husband. He was Jewish and having never grown up with Christmas as part of his life he embraced all the holiday routines. Decorations, holiday foods, meals, Christmas parties and the gifts! Oh yes, he loved the buying of the gifts more than anything else. He would buy gifts for everyone. Even his business clients. My family would come to my house on Christmas Day and it looked like a dream. In reality it was not for me. Buying presents for others stressed me out. Not from the financial aspect but the actual going to the crowded stores and finding something that person would like. I had no trouble buying for my son but everyone else presented a problem to me. When my mother's health became bad she would mail me a check and tell me to buy everyone presents from her and my father. Oh boy, just what I wanted to do! 


Surprising Mom with a colored television!

Truthfully the best Christmases I remember were the ones before I grew up. Or the time my parents and brother came to my apartment for Christmas Eve. After my parents left to drive home my brother and my son and I went in his car to my parents' house to beat them there. When they arrived home, we were quietly sitting in their house in the dark. My mother turned on the lights and there we were. Also there was a big color television sitting there in place of their small black and white one! My brother had found it for sale used at a good price and we got it for their Christmas present. They loved it.! On the drive there my brother kept pointing to the sky and saying he saw Santa in his sleight. My son was soon saying he saw them too. He was so excited. It was one of my fondest memories. 


My brother, Mickey in his wild west show in Harpursville, NY

When we were children our Christmas gifts were usually a few toys, a book or two and some clothing. Usually pajamas. We always got the same number of presents. Yet almost every year, I would get the biggest present because it was doll and one year a doll house. My brother would just grab that big one and open it himself before my parents could stop him. Every year I got a new doll. My brother who is two and half years older than me always got things related to cowboys, guns and race cars. He is still into cowboys and guns to this day. He builds black powder guns and makes buckskin clothing for himself. He has a wild west show with a group of others who put on shows at a variety of places during the summer and fall.  So those interests have always stayed with him. I will add that he is a very unique brother and has always been so (even though he always opened my dolls!).


Decorated my door with mostly Christmas Cards I received.

My Christmas has changed in the last few years to being a really quiet day and not doing much of anything except decorating my door and giving out cards to the people who live in my building. I am quite happy with it this way because it not a stressful time for me now. No spending money on presents that nobody wants. Remember those gift boxes of talcum powder or bubble bath? Those were the gifts you got when someone had to give you a gift and didn't know what to give you. I can picture them in the store now. I do not know if they still sell stuff like that now or not. I buy myself whatever I want all year long so I don't need to get any presents. Nor do I cook a Christmas meal. This year I had Keto Chow salted caramel ice cream that I added pumpkin spice to. Later in the day I had a large rib-eye steak. Perfect for Christmas Day! No big clean up job. No stress of whether someone liked a present I bought them. My son lives upstairs and he came down a few times but he is not into Christmas either. 


Rabbit

The thing about living alone and being alone on a holiday is that it really is no big deal........unless YOU make it a big deal. Fretting about it months in advance causes you to dread the day so much. Becoming depressed because you are alone. It is just a day like any other day. If you have a pet you aren't alone. I know I still have to care for my pet like I do every day. Pets don't know it is Christmas or that you are going to buy them a bunch of presents. But you can if you choose to do so. I think they like it better if you stay home whether you get them presents or not. I buy this little boy so much stuff all the time so he doesn't have to wait for Christmas to get any gifts. In fact, he slept most of the day........





Copyright © 2024 Kathleen G. Lupole
All Photographs Copyright © 2024  Kathleen G. Lupole