A Lifetime of Living

kat in 1976 at 24 years of age

There comes a time in your life as you grow older when you realize life does not last forever. In the past, like when you are thirty, you think retirement is a long time off. When you reach that age though and are not going to a job every day, at first it is a transition period. Can be fun because now you have time to do whatever it is you choose to do. After being retired for a period of ten years or more though, you start feeling like maybe your life is going to be ending soon. Maybe you won't live to see certain things or how things turn out. It is a scary thought but is also true. I have always been a positive person. Thinking that way has always helped me to get through the bad times of my life. And there has been many. 

Senior housing

Now I am finding that not dwelling on how many years I have left is what I have to do. You cannot spend time thinking about dying or your own death. It will come soon enough without spoiling those years before. In fact, I believe you can hasten your death by thinking about it all the time. Every ache and pain does not mean I have something terrible and am going to die. For me running to a doctor all the time would make me feel that way. Doctors have a way of worrying you before they even know you have something to worry about. Instead I tell myself I am fine and get on with what I have to do today.

 

kat

This week I am having blood work done at my doctor's office. Not looking forward to that. I know it will mean that the doctor will be warning me about something. Worrying me about something in those blood test result numbers. I am only doing this so I can make plans to have my dental issues taken care of. Want to make sure I am okay to do that. Maybe I will be able to have the doctor give me an order to go back to my Lymphedema therapist. You can't do that without the order from the doctor. I really need to go back. Most doctors do not know much about that condition but my therapist is very knowledgeable about it. So I feel confident going to her when I have the need. 

Using a walker

My life has not been easy but easier than some. I had no real health issues until the year I turned fifty. That year is also the year I lost my mother. I was noticing pain in my knees then and it increased over time. Nothing worked for it. No supplements and I tried them all. I did not go to a doctor because I had no insurance. I do not blindly trust anyone just because they are certified or registered in some profession. Lives end and one day mine will also. I am not going to think about it now. I have no plans to have any surgery on my knees or to start taking prescription drugs. When I have the dental work done I will be taking prescriptions for that. Antibiotics and pain medication but for a short time. I will only take the pain medication when I really need it. After my mouth has healed I will not need them any longer. Looking forward to getting all that taken care of in the near future. 

Copyright © 2024 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2024  Kathleen G. Lupole

Burial Insurance Should Be In Your Plans

Peaceful Forest Graveyard

Yes!  Burial Insurance plans can be a good thing. It may not sound like it, but eventually, that time will come to us all. When you get to be my age, you start thinking about death.......your own death to be exact. You may have lost your parents, or even your spouse. It gets to be on your mind more than in the past. I guess when you get to your fifties, it really comes home to you, that you will not be living forever. Sometimes you read the news about a famous star or celebrity that died suddenly. Then you think, "Wow, that could happen to me."

In 2002, my mother died after suffering for 24 years with Cushing Syndrome. It was expected in her last year, and she kept telling us it would be soon. When she passed away, I went to the funeral parlor with my father to make all the arrangements. Now my parents did not have much money, and lived in a simple trailer on two acres of land. They did not have life insurance. But when the funeral director got through all the paper work, he said to my father, "How do you want to pay for that?" My father answered, "Do you take cash?" The directors eyes popped out! My parents had saved for this, and in fact, that day my father also paid in advance for his own funeral.

Not many people can do that though. So the next best thing is to purchase burial insurance. You know someday you WILL be using it. This type of insurance gives you peace of mind when you are dying. It is one less thing to be worrying about. So many people are frantic with worry at this time, near the end of their life because of this. They are afraid of what kind of burden it will put on their loved ones. If you are alone at this time in your life it also relieves you, to know this is paid for by you in advance.

Your senior life insurance provides for your burial and funeral expenses. But it can also be used for other expenses as well. Many baby boomers are now raising their grandchildren, and may want to provide for them after they are gone. We are living longer and that means our savings may not last that long. So in this way you will have that money to cover other expenses. Stay on top of all the senior insurance news by joining the AARP. They keep you informed as well as offer you many discounts for insurance, travel, health products, financial services and more.

I have a friend who had to deal with a death of a family member last year and he had absolutely no money to cover it. She was sick over this as she had only enough money to live on for herself. I am not sure what she finally did, but it was an awful situation she was in at that time. So even if you are not doing it for yourself, think about doing it for your family.

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Copyright © 2011 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2011  Kathleen G. Lupole

Turning Your Losses Around

A Neighboring Farm

Yesterday I drove my son to my father's house where he will spend a few days. He likes to take some time to spend with his grandfather, as he said that every time he leaves he is afraid he will never see him again. I know since my father is 91 years old there is a pretty good chance that is true. At this point in my life, 58 years old, I cannot imagine what my life would be like without my father. He is unique, unlike any other human being I have ever met. But what I want to say here, is that you never know no matter what age a person is if you will see them again. They will always stay in your heart though. If it it a parent, they are a part of you for as long as you live. You carry that with you and all the other generations that was a part of them also.

Losing a child is much different. From the time they are born, parents nurture and protect their children. Even animals do that. There are always those few that do not and don't seem to be worthy of the title parent. Even in the animal world that is true. There will always be the fathers or mothers who are too busy even though they take good care of them. And some that do not take any care of them. Neglect, abuse or even worse.  Some are too busy to pay attention to them when they are playing and want you to watch them do something. I know my son's favorite words while growing up were, "Mommy, Mommy, watch me! Watch me!" I always tried to, but granted there were many times when I could not. Being a stay at home mom though, probably more than most.

I know the feeling of  losing a child is different than losing a parent. You always know your parents will die and probably before you do. So when you lose your own child, the feeling is so much different. That was your child, the joy of your life. You think about the early years. You think about things you did together. The times that will never be. I cannot say I know all those feelings. My stepdaughter was not my child and I was not in her life when she was a child. I know what she was like as a child only because of what my husband has told me. I know she was very beautiful and sensitive to the natural world. She could not stand to see you kill a spider or a mouse. She was dearly loved by many people and most especially by her family.

Loss is something we will all have to deal with in some way some day:

• Loss of loved ones, including our beloved pets.
• Loss of material things that we become attached to. 
• Loss of a wonderful producing garden every year. 
• Loss of money we earned and worked hard for.
• Loss of respect for someone we love or know. 
• Loss of a business we started that failed.
• Loss of job we loved. 
• Loss of friends as we leave school or move to other areas. 
• Loss of our routines as our life changes in some way.
• Loss of our health which is many times little by little so we scarcely notice it. 
• Loss of our loved ones' health.
• Loss of a wonderful house that we lived in.
• Loss of a marriage that we didn't want to end. 

I am sure you can think of many more. The idea is to find ways to turn those losses around. You can't bring most of your losses back, but have to take a look in the mirror and say to yourself, "This is a new day. There is nothing more I can do about that. That is past. Now is the time I have and I will not dwell on my loss anymore." Then move on. As the song by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band says,

Stand a Little Rain 

 

  Dark cloud is coming

Headed straight for your heart

Might get just a little bit crazy, baby

Might try to tear us apart

When the storm blows over

Only the true love remains

If we’re ever gonna see a rainbow

We have to stand a little rain

Everybody wants love to be easy

But it’s never been that way

Each love starts out with blue skies

Sometimes those blue skies turn grey

When the storm blows over

Only the strong love remains

If we’re ever gonna see a rainbow

We have to stand a little rain

The thunder rolls

And the lightning strikes

Hold on, darling

It’s gonna be alright

’cause when the storm blows over

Only the true love remains

If we’re ever gonna see a rainbow

We have to stand a little rain

If we’re ever gonna see a rainbow

We have to stand a little rain 

Yes, it hurts, but God never promised us no hurts. That is part of the package. So build yourself back up. If you lose someone, you must move on or you will lose your life as well. Build your life up in their memory. Do things that would have made them proud. You will never forget those losses but they will make you stronger. They will make you able to do many things you thought you could not do. You must do this or else you will have no life at all and you will wither up inside. So if you are feeling a loss of some sort today, start your new day right now!

Copyright © 2010  Kathleen G. Lupole

Song Lyrics from Nitty Gritty Dirt Band Album Twenty Years Of  Dirt

Lyrics are the property of their respective owners. All information has been reproduced here for educational and informational purposes to benefit blog visitors and is provided at no charge.

Live Your Life NOW

Take time to smell the flowers!

I think I would be amiss with my readers this morning if I did not mention the passing my first husband and the father of my son. He passed away in the hospital on Friday. I can hardly believe he is gone. He was a big part of my life and my son's life for so long. My first husband and I were divorced in 1990. I do not want to mention the bad as I am not thinking about any of that anymore. That has been gone from my life for a very long time now. My whole life when I was married to him was completely different. I will admit here that he hurt me very deeply and it is something you hardly forget. But when I became a "born again" Christian I forgave him, not in person because I had not seen him in over 16 years or talked to him. But in my heart and in my prayers. I even prayed for him when he became sick. I never had the chance to see him in person, or I would have tried to get him to accept Jesus in his heart, though him being very Jewish, that would have been difficult.

When a life passes it causes you to reflect on your own life. Like I said, I lived a completely different life back then and I can say with total honesty that my life today is so much more fulfilling than back then. I am married to a wonderful man who treats me like I am the most beautiful, sexiest and smartest creature on this earth. He makes me feel so valued. Isn't value what we all want? For the people in our lives to value us and love us? My husband is very adept at many, many things, so for him to give me such votes of confidence is invaluable to me. I am glad he is not the kind of person who tries to tell me how to do something or to imply that his way is the only way. We all know people like that I am sure. I am not comparing him to my other "mistakes" as he would beat them by a million miles for sure!

In my eBook, My Homesteading Journey, I mentioned that I lived the life of luxury in the past and that is very true. I lived that life. But I found it very empty. It was void of real true happiness. Money does not make the people happy if they get up in the morning and they go to a job they do not like to go to. It does not make you happy if you get up in the morning and you look in the mirror and do not like who you see there. It does not make you contented and satisfied with your life if you are hurting others or telling lies to others to make yourself look more important.

Death makes you very aware that life is not really that long. My father at 91, and my father-in-law at 90 have lived long lives. My father though has a fuller more satisfying life. He is busy and has not stopped doing anything due to his age. Fixing his house, his car, mowing his lawn and having a big garden and even canning his crop keeps him very active. And he can discuss any subject as sharply as any eighteen year old. My father-in-law though, is just the opposite, and seems to have just stopped living, waiting for death to visit him.

I feel that you should try to live your life now the way you want and not wait to retire and then start living. Take a look at your life today, right now and evaluate it. Discover what it is you want to do in your life and find a way to do it now. You never know how long you have in this life. Putting it on hold for the future may mean you will never achieve what you want to do most. I cannot tell you how many people we know or knew that had retired, and then within a few months died suddenly. Never to realize those dreams. Start working on freeing yourself for that life as soon as possible.There are always ways to make your dreams happen if you just start now. Don't wait too long.