Life On Your Own Can Be Good

Flower Garden Across the Street

It is much easier to live alone than with a spouse, children, other family members or roommates. There are some people who cannot tolerate being alone all the time. Research says if you live alone you won’t live as long, but I don’t necessarily believe the so called “research” of anything. Then they turn around and tell you that stress will kill you. Where do most people have stress come from? Other people or bills, I think! I am definitely an introvert. I always have been and always will be. I hate noise. If I am listening to something of my own choice, like music or a television show, it is not for the constant noise. Some people have to keep a television going just to have that noise around them. Not me! If someone calls me on the telephone, I have to shut off my television or music. I cannot have that sound on in the background. It is distracting to me to be talking to someone and watching television at the same time. I can only concentrate on one sound at a time. I used to have two different friends who always had their televisions going and loudly. I would be stressed from trying to understand what they were talking about, that by the time we got home, I just wanted quiet. Not to talk to anyone.

kat's Kitchen

I have lived with other people through out my whole life. Parents, brother, friends, boyfriends, husbands, child, etc. I am the type of person who likes to put things away as soon as I am done with it. I do not like to leave dirty dishes overnight in my sink or on my counter and stove top. Everything has a place and when I cook, I normally put everything away before sitting down to eat. The same with my clothing. Hang it up or put it in my laundry basket. If I see myself start slipping on this, I make it a point to clean it up and then stick to it. As I am getting older, it is easy to just pile clothes that I just wore on a chair. I am trying not to do this. Sometimes I am just so tired by bed time, but if I know I will be wearing the same thing the next morning, I will set it on my vanity stool which is right next to my bed.

Huge Windows and High Ceilings

Since I moved to this apartment last year, I am better able to keep my home pretty clean. I am in a studio apartment that is very small. It does not seem that small to me since it has huge windows along almost one whole wall. And high ceilings above the windows. The ceilings are three levels and it makes it feel like it has more space. At 338 square feet it really is quite small. The bathroom is large though with a walk in shower. The biggest bathroom I have ever had in my whole life. The kitchen is a good size too, separate from the rest of the apartment. Not an eat in one though. Pretty easy for me to keep the place clean and neat all the time. I have uncluttered constantly since moving and before I moved also. I sold a lot of things on eBay for a number of years. Still had a lot to get rid of when I moved though. Even afterwards, I have gotten rid of more things. If I do not use it, then I try to sell it. If I sell it, I use that money to pay down my debt that I had from my previous life.

Downtown Norwich, NY

It gives me peace of mind to live in my own space. Bills paid, food to eat, air conditioning in the hot weather and heat in the cold. Living downtown in a small city, also gives me an option to shop when I need something. Not owning a vehicle affords me that extra money for those things I want, but not affordable if I had to pay for the “privilege” of driving. I do have someone in my life who will drive me anywhere I want to go. All I have to do is ask. Though I am still trying to arrange my own transportation locally, just in case I had to do it on my own. The bus system here and two taxicab companies are available to me. I have not experimented with either one as of yet.

katlupe

Just because you are a woman of a certain age does not mean you cannot be happy living alone. If you have never lived alone it is a whole new experience. Being able to do what you want, when you want and not have to ask someone else if it is okay or what they think about it. Not have to beg someone to try it your way. If you decide to do something on impulse you can do it in a minute. Nobody to ask. Just do whatever you please. Not ending up in a big argument over it. Deciding to pay off my debt without reusing what I pay off to live has been very nice. It was one of those things that caused a huge conflict before I moved here. Now I am seeing that light at the end of the tunnel!

Copyright © 2019 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2019  Kathleen G. Lupole

Living With Physical Disabilities

Yours Truly, katlupe

I have found living with a limited physical disability pretty hard in the past. Living in a regular two story house was hard for me. It was hard even coming into my house because there were stairs to get up and the inside of the house really had no room for using a walker or if ever needed in the future, a wheelchair. The apartment building I have moved into is geared to people with disabilities or elderly residents in general. Having worked in my past life as a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant), a HHA (Home Health Aid) and as a PCA (Personal Care Aid), I knew the things I needed to make my life easier and keep my independence. Just because your family says they don't mind doing everything for you, that does not mean you are comfortable asking them. I remembered all those little things that the people I took care of needed or wanted. So when I started looking for other options for me, I found that moving into an apartment set up with that in mind was the perfect answer.

kat's Studio door

Now that I am living here, there is no looking back. If you have a physical disability and cannot do simple things for yourself, you get depressed about it. I am happy to say that here, I have my own independence back! I have friends who help me, such as buying stuff from the store for me or taking me to the store. That is not what I am talking about. I am talking about the jobs you do every day, such as showering, making your bed, cooking, putting your groceries away, mopping, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning bunny rabbit cages, laundry, etc. Those every day jobs that you want to do yourself, or at least I did and still do. I hated asking for help or that feeling of being forced to ask for help because I could not do whatever it was. Nobody made me feel bad about asking, it was just in my own mind.

The ramp

There are so many benefits for someone who has been struggling to just walk to the bathroom. Here I have a ramp to use that takes me from outside to the door and from there to an elevator to my apartment, which is on the second floor. My apartment, even being a studio, is quite roomy and there is plenty of room for my walker and if I ever needed a wheelchair, there is room for that too. I have a huge bathroom with a big walk-in shower that I love. I bought a shower chair to use in it and believe me, taking a shower has never been such a hedonist event for me before. What a luxurious way to take my shower! No worry about falling in there now!

My Kitchen

My kitchen has once again become a place for me to create delicious meals. I had lost interest in cooking for some time now. I realize now, it was not the actual cooking that I was dreading and trying to avoid, but the fact that the kitchen was not easy for me to work in. Not any longer. The kitchen here is small, but everything is within an easy reach. Some days if I am having much trouble getting around, and recently I was very sick and didn't do much cooking at all, I can just make up some cold foods that don't require any additional cooking at all. I suppose that is the advantage to living alone too. Cooking for one is a lot less work, not only in the food preparation but also in the clean-up. I try to keep on top of the clean-up work by keeping a dishpan of hot soapy water in the sink while I prepare the meal. I am using an Instant Pot or a toaster oven instead of the big oven in the electric cooking range. Uses less power, does not heat up my apartment and causes me to use smaller pans. I make it a rule to follow Fly Lady and never leave dirty dishes in my sink overnight!

Downstairs to the laundry room

A perk of living in the apartment building I am in, is that it has a laundry room downstairs. Having come from an off-the-grid house, the laundry was one of those jobs that had become way too hard for me. I was washing the laundry by hand and seems I could hardly ever catch up, especially in cold or rainy weather. Here using smart card technology, I just put some time on the card, pretty much like you do a cellphone and use that in the washer and dryers. Take my laundry down and put it in the washing machine, come back in an hour and move it to a dryer. Back to my apartment and when the time is up, I go back downstairs and fold my load. Easy as could be and it is job I look forward to.

kat's cat collection

Having less things makes for less work. If you feel overwhelmed due to a lot of furniture or other possessions that you have to take care of, it can tire you out. I was tired out just trying to organize all my things. What good are they if they sit in a box and you never take them out? Never use them? I have parted with many items that I never thought I would give up. And you know what? I feel like I had a weight lifted off my shoulders. I really do. Moving made me really take note on how much stuff I really had. I kept the things I use or what gives me pleasure. An example of something that gives me pleasure is I have a curio cabinet that holds my collection of ceramic and some brass, cats. I have collected them over the years and many were gifts. I look at them often and in the evenings like to put the light on so they really stand out. Yes, I get pleasure from owning them!

Leaving off residents after a day of shopping

One more reason for moving into a senior housing apartment is that after having lived for close to nineteen years in the middle of the state forest, I found I had no friends. I was alone except for my husband and my critters. I needed interaction. I needed people to talk to, to laugh with, to enjoy. Living downtown in a small city gives me the option to walk to various shops, churches, restaurants, the library, hair salon, etc. I now have a mobile walker, which I will be writing about in a future post so I won't go into that much now. It has made me able to be a lot more independent. There is a county transit bus system that comes here and takes people to various stores and other places. There are local taxi cabs and delivery services available. It has made the option of living without a motor vehicle possible for me and it was something I always wanted to do. Not having to pay for vehicle expenses, covers my electric, internet, cellphone and a large portion of my rent. I like that trade off! 

Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole 

All Photographs Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole

Time Marches On

I read something I wrote eleven years ago and it still is true today. It caused a pain in my heart. Like I had been stabbed. It was something I needed to change in my life and was miserable about. Instead I lived with it for all those years. I am hanging my head in shame! No excuses! I know everyone would say to me to make it work. Keep trying. Don't give up. Easier said than done. Especially if things are so bad that you are always upset, mad, sad, crying in your pillow every night.........then get the heck out of that situation! No matter what it is. A relationship, a lifestyle, a job, a location. Just cut your losses and get out.

These type of situations hurt and make you sad while are living it. If you don't make the change, then your life is hopeless. So you must bite the bullet and make the change. If you find it hard to do, that does not matter. Do you really want to keep doing what you hate? Every day for the rest of you life? Living a life you hate is like just waiting to die. That is why so many people sit in front of a television all day long. Just doing the same old trivial things they do day after day. Time marches on.

If you are miserable.........get up right now and do something, anything to change it. Start making changes and once you do, you will never look back. It is not meant for our lives to be so boring, mundane and miserable. They are meant to be lived to the fullest every day! Make a list of whatever you need to do to get started. I have been doing this for a long time now. The difference is, this is my first year that I have actually started making the changes I must, to go on with my life. At times, my pain of my situation has been staggering. I do not really suffer from depression, it more like sadness of wanting to make changes in my life and not knowing how to get started. Or even being able to do so due to my finances.

My Daddy's chestnut tree that he planted

What I have learned in my own search for happiness, independence and freedom is that at times in your life you must accept help from others to get yourself started. Once you are out there, then perhaps you can find your own way. Otherwise you never will. Not getting started will keep you in a miserable life forever. Life is so short that you must take your chances when they arise and strike out to create that life you see in your head, mind and dreams. Yes, it is possible but you must at least try!

Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole

Paying For Convenience

How important is convenience to you? Is it more important than money? Is it more important than time? As we all know, in centuries back, people did more hard work than we do today. Children walked miles to school. Nowadays, parents drive their children to the end of their driveway. Housewives carried water from a well, split firewood, cooked from scratch, as well as cleaned their houses, made their clothing, gardened and preserved the food. Not to mention raising their children, and helping their husbands raise the livestock and processing the meat and milk from them. Maybe that was one of the reasons for raising so many children. Extra hands were worth the extra mouths to feed since they had plenty of food anyway. The family worked together back then. Nice idea!

As time went by, the housewives' chores became easier and easier. Especially with the invention of electricity and processed foods. Most women made bread daily. Many loaves depending on the size of the family. When store bought bread came out, they loved eliminating that job, not to mention the appearance of the soft white bread. They gave up that chore without a second thought. Now if someone comes to your house, and you have just taken some freshly baked loaves out of the oven, it is special. They keep complimenting you about how good it is, and how you can't buy it that good anywhere. I know that!

Heating with wood, cooking with wood, cutting your own firewood is replaced by going to a job and giving your time in exchange for money. Then you pay for heating fuel or for firewood, however you buy it. So in the long run, how many hours do you have to work to pay for that firewood? Instead go out into the your woods with your crosscut saw (that does not use gas), and cut the firewood you need. Do it one day a week for four hours, all year long. You would build your supply, get exercise and cost less than a load of logs delivered to your home, which in NY,  is over $600.

I admit to liking convenience myself. I think my choice of convenience is different than most people of today though. It is not that I am living old-fashioned as everyone thinks I am. Not at all. It is really more in the future than you may believe. Though I see the things that come to be, when we are too dependent on services and products, and how it will effect mankind in the future. Not a pretty sight once you really start learning about it. At least try to provide some ways to do things, if there is no one to do it for you. No one to pay for the service you need. Make a list of all the things you are dependent on, and couldn't live without. Then figure how you would manage without those items. What you would do if the service you paid for stopped.

I have been reading a book on my kindle that really brought it home to me. It is a fiction book, but the author presents it in such a way, that it will make you think twice about the very things we are so concerned about. Giving up the choice of taking care of ourselves for the convenience is one of the main focuses in this story. The name of this book is,Dark Mountain and is written by Andrew Culver. Today it is free in the Kindle store, but won't be for long. I wrote a review of it for Amazon and I compared it to the book, 1984 by George Orwell.

I am not trying to scare you. Just trying to make people think for themselves and not give up their independence for the easy way of life. Sometimes it is not so easy after all.

Copyright © 2012 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2012  Kathleen G. Lupole

Combining The Homestead & Business Lifestyle

 Georgie Girl, the boss mare

We had a frost last night so it is a good thing I did not try to get my plants in the ground yet. Our days have been cool but sunny. We have our big wood stove going, but keep it pretty much banked back during the day. I hate to use the kerosene heater since that fuel costs us money. This type of weather is tricky because it is not freezing cold during the day and at night it is cold enough to wear warm clothing and use warm snuggly blankets. So you have to have some kind of heat. So our big wood stove can be overkill at times but banked back has been doing a good job. I hate it when the house is cold and everything you touch is cold.

We have a variety of jobs that need to be done on a regular basis out here. Working on my business takes up a good share of my time. I am trying to develop some sort of a schedule. But I get up and there is always something else needs to be done than what I had written on my list to done first. I try to organize myself better but things get in the way. I have been really trying to get rid of all my clutter. I have things I have not used or even looked at in years. So these things need to go!

Since I need to work on the computer for my business daily, I have to take breaks from my household chores and sit down and work a little here. Then I go back to the household jobs. Today I am working on organizing cookbooks in my kitchen. My husband finished the shelf he had made for my cookbooks by adding molding and varnishing it yesterday. So today I am able to put the cookbooks back where they belong. While I do that, I will weed out any that I do not use anymore.

A sample of strings I have for sale

I sell guitar strings online on two websites. One is String Baby and the other one is my original site Larry Gene Music that I put up in 2002. Boy, we have come along way from there! This morning we got up to an international sale on our website. I am so happy to be getting more international sales. A couple of weeks ago we got one from a repeat customer from Paris and today a new customer from Japan. There is a whole international market out there for anyone with an online business. You just have to learn how to handle these sales so they are profitable to your business, but affordable for your international customers. The shipping is what stops most sellers from selling to them. And it also stops the foreign would be customers from buying if your shipping costs are too high. We worked on it to come up with a happy medium so that the shipping cost are not out of sight for the customers.

If you are trying to live independently, the most important part of it is to be able to do all the chores involved. It is pretty hard to do all the gardening and food preserving and fence fixing while having to work on your business or at a job. I get behind all the time, yet I am here at home all day. When I worked out at a regular job it was a nightmare. Could not get anything done here. What I am trying to do in my quest for organizing and automating my home, life and business is to make everything much easier. Automatic!

Copyright © 2010 Kathleen G. Lupole