Life Keeps Changing As I Get Older

My Backyard

When I stopped living at Peaceful Forest and moved downtown to a small apartment I did not know what to expect. I had a lot of mobility issues. I knew I had to move and leave my marriage so I could go to a doctor. At that time I did not have health insurance and could not get any. It was out of our price range. I had absolutely no money to pay for any. When I did go to a walk-in clinic for something the young doctor there said my mobility issues was just normal aging. No real exam and no x-rays. Just a big bill with sixty dollars extra added because I did not have health insurance! So I did what I had to do. 

Doing Laundry

As much as I did not want to give up my life as a homesteading woman, I knew I had no choice. I struggled to do my chores. Washing laundry by hand was something a lot of people who read this blog romanticized. It was not by any means. It was a difficult chore for me to do. Putting my hands in ice cold water. I could not carry the water from the pump to the house to heat and then carry back outside. No, I had to use the cold water. To this day even with washing machines, I wash my personal clothing in cold water and hang to dry. Lasts much longer. I even made my own laundry soap which I do not care to do anymore. Moving here simplified my life. As you get older there are health issues that make it difficult for you to keep doing those chores that you used to do every day. When I  used to say that homesteading was not a simple life I meant it. Nor an easy one. 

Canned Ground Beef

For a long time I baked our bread letting it rise next to our big wood stove. Now I don't even eat bread. Life changes and so did my diet. When we were low on food, I could go in my pantry and create a meal out of ingredients and canned foods that I stored. It never felt like we didn't have anything to eat. Maybe not a lot of meat though I had that canned in the pantry also. I did not realize that my inflammation was most likely coming from the baked goods I was making. Lots of sugar and wheat! Two foods I no longer eat. I know so many people with serious health issues and they don't want to try to resolve their issues by giving up their beloved sugar, wheat and high carbs. I just ignore them now. It is kind of like being a Christian and watching people talk against it so they can continue doing the things they do and not have to change their ways. Well, they don't have to. Just pay the price later on. 

My Kitchen

Instead of cooking from scratch I now look for foods I can cook easily without much mess. I cannot stand in the kitchen for longer than five minutes. So I get the food started and sit back down. Keeping it on a low enough temperature so it does not burn. Back and forth is the way I cook. I call it the back and forth method! If something takes some time to prepare, like a salad, I put it on the tray I keep on the walker seat and go back to my chair. There I cut up and peel it, put it in the bowl and then wheel it back to the kitchen to finish. Washing the dishes after each meal is another big help. That way I never have to stand at the sink for a long time. I cannot even if I wanted to. 

Local Bus Transportation

Living in an apartment in a small city is easier for someone living alone and zeroing in on old age. A house has a lot of work and expenses associated with it. Like a car. I choose to live without all those headaches. To be honest though, it is not easy. Having to arrange transportation to medical appointments can be a headache. They don't always arrive on time or at all. Sometimes they just cancel you and don't even let you know. Then you miss your appointments. Even so, I could never afford a vehicle even if it was completely paid for. The repairs, preventative maintenance, insurance, registration, inspections and whatever else comes up with vehicle ownership. There are taxi cabs and the bus system available. For groceries though I normally have them delivered. It is the easiest option. 

Ready-Wrap compression garments

Right now in the middle of summer I am already looking forward to fall and cooler temperatures. I can't wait for it. Even more so this year because it has been hotter and my Lymphedema is worse. I am wearing the Velcro Ready-Wraps most of the time now. They are easier to put on but they are hotter than the compression stockings. A couple of days I skipped the compression but it resulted in more swelling. You pay for what you do. Even if you know something is not good for you for some reason you still want to do it. Human nature I guess. I keep telling myself things will get better but unfortunately they never do. So I am learning to have patience, wisdom and discipline and hope for the best.

Copyright © 2026 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2026 Kathleen G. Lupole

A Lifetime Of Changes

 

There comes a time when a person has to accept the reality of their life. Some goals you had planned are never happening. As I think back on my own life I remember goals or dreams I had at one age and then changed them at another age. They were not in line with what I was doing at that time. You are not a failure if you failed to attain that goal. A goal you may have had as a teenager might be something you can never even try to do as you got older. The influences of television, magazines or books sometimes will cause you to have a dream that is not ever going to happen for you. 

Parents may influence you as well as your siblings or friends. What they might want for you might not be anything you want to do but accept it and try. Failing at whatever it was will affect you and the way you think about yourself. It was not right for you to begin with. Aging gives you another outlook on your life. Doing something one way for a number of years and then suddenly you want to change it. People around you may not encourage you or some might. It is up to you in the end. What do you want to do in your life? It is your life. It is your journey. 

I have made many changes throughout my life. Different ages meant different things were happening to me and around me. A lifetime of changes is inevitable. What I was doing at twenty was completely different at forty. I look back at those years and wonder what was I thinking back then? Today I feel they were bad or wrong choices. Maybe though, they were just different and the outcome was not what I wanted or needed. At age fifty I dealt with changes that were the most difficult of my whole life. Yes, even now and the changes that have happened to me at ages sixty and seventy-three were not as difficult as fifty was.

2002 was the year I turned fifty. Along with that came the accident that almost killed my husband. Having to have one of my Parathyroids removed (not that big of deal). My mother's health became much worse and she died later that year. I was also in the process of menopause. It was a very stressful time and I don't know how I got through it. I was living on my Peaceful Forest Homestead at the time and it was a lot of work. I made it through it in one piece. By the time I left there in 2018 my life had taken many changes and continues to this day. 

Now I feel most of the changes in my life have to do with my health. I have had to change the way I do things due to mobility issues. Due to my knees and to Lymphedema and how they affect me. I will go more into those issues in a future post. My whole life I had a car of my own and once I gave that up I felt like I lost my independence. When I moved here to my apartment I chose not to buy a vehicle due to all the expenses associated with it. It was the right choice for me but it is also a burden for finding rides to appointments. I am finding my way through it and doing what I must. A lifetime of changes never ends. I believe change is a daily activity for me. 

Copyright © 2026 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2026 Kathleen G. Lupole

 

Fall Is Here! Enjoying it!

 I love fall! I look forward to it every year eagerly. Most people who live in cold climates appreciate summer. Since I don't have a garden anymore to work in during the summer I stayed inside in the air conditioning. I was rarely outside this year unless it was to go to the dumpster. The hot weather just gets to me. I was out in the parks only a handful of times this year. When I did go outside I walked within a short distance of my building. Sometimes just going along the block in front of the building. I was afraid I would get too far away and get overcome by the heat. 

Grand Union parking lot.....I made it!

Surprisingly I walked one day from my building to the Grand Union to get food for Rabbit. It was a cooler morning and I went early. I am always at my best in the earlier part of the day. I walked all the way there and back. It was the farthest I have ever walked since living here. So proud of myself for doing that! Except that the next day and ever since walking has been extremely difficult for me. Needing the walker even in my apartment. My feet have swelled up and stayed that way since. Yesterday was the first day I didn't turn my air conditioner on at all. It felt good with my window open and a slight breeze coming in. I like cool days with the sun shining. It is a gray morning and could mean rain. Gray or rain, I don't care as long as it is cooler. I mean in the sixties or lower, but I doubt it will be that cool yet. I am looking for temperatures in the fifties. Shhhh! Don't tell my friends! They don't want that kind of weather. 

I gave these canners a work out over the years!

This time of year is our harvest time in upstate New York. Past years I would be a canning fool. Working nonstop from early morning till I was the last one up late at night. Two canners going constantly. I always canned everything because I didn't have a freezer and we needed the food. I did not want to waste even one vegetable so I never threw away or gave any away. Even then though I was not adding sugar to fruit, pickles or anything else. Once I learned the dangers of sugar I was able to eliminate it easily. Now foods with sugar do not taste good to me. I enjoyed those years of gardening and canning but am glad I am not doing it anymore. It was a lot of work and I want life to be easier.

My freezer is just big enough for ice, ice cream, popsicles & meat

Now I don't have to stock up on much food. It is just me and my bunny here. I do not eat much in the way of vegetables. No fruit at all because it is all sugar. I have a regular refrigerator with a freezer and don't really need any more room than that. I still like to cook. I will make a casserole or some other dish and have plenty of leftovers. Freeze the leftovers for another time. That way I don't get sick of it. For some reason I have gotten tired of chicken and am just finishing up what I have in my freezer. Not going to buy it for awhile or until I get the urge for it again. Beef, fatty fish and some pork is all I need. Oh yeah, dairy products too! 

Meat, dairy & produce

People wonder how I can afford so much beef? Since I do not buy any vegetables or fruit except what I have to buy for Rabbit that cuts those expenses off my budget. Then the same with all grains, sugars, processed boxed or frozen foods. No snack foods or expensive breakfast foods like cereals or baked goods. No ingredients needed to make those foods. I have had people say to me "I could not give up whatever it is." The difference is, I could when it meant I will be able to improve the quality of my life. Once I stopped eating the vegetables and fruit I noticed a big difference in how I felt. No more bloating or constipation issues. I am still working on my health issues. Especially the Lymphedema which makes me miserable. I could probably live with bad knees if I could at least walk better. 

Fall on my street!

I will never be the type of person to just give up or settle. I am not going to say I have Lymphedema and osteoarthritis and I will live with it. Nope, not for me. I will always strive to improve my health probably until the day I die. I have never been a follower. Just because a medical "so called expert" says this or that does not mean I will do it their way. I do my research and from sources I can trust. We have been fed so much propaganda in our lives that it is hard to believe anyone else no matter what credentials they have behind their name. Right now I am still working on my dental issues which have taken over five years. I imagine that will be a big change for me when it is done with. I am very much aware of the fact that food is our medicine and that is where you have to start on your health journey. I did. 

Copyright © 2024 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2024  Kathleen G. Lupole

Change Is Always Taking Place In Our Lives

Change is always taking place. From the day you are born till the day you die. Fighting change is a waste of time. Accept it and move on. What if the change is a bad one? Make a list of what is bad about it and what is good about it. Then write a list of what you can do about it. I always do that. Sometimes it is as simple as do not do anything. Wait. Patience. More times than not, time will take care of that change for you. At times I have had to make changes myself to improve whatever situation I was in. The best way to do that is to start taking little steps toward that goal. You can get most anywhere one step at a time. The key is to not overwhelm yourself by trying to do it all in a short time. Sometimes it takes a long time but if you stick with it and do not give up you can do it. 

My Apartment Building

I am constantly trying to change my life here in my apartment. Trying to make it easier due to my bad knees and Lymphedema. Yet I refuse to give up and live with it the way it is right now. I keep watching YouTube videos showing me exercises to improve both of those conditions. For the longest time I could not get up out of my chair without a lot of pain. Since watching a video on how to do that with an easy technique I can now get up from the chair with no pain or problem. It is true if you don't use something you will probably lose the use of it. So I am not going to let that happen to me. One of my goals is to be able to navigate the many stairs in my building. 

Backyard

Change has come to me in other ways than just my health issues. Financial goals are something I work on constantly. I live on a very low income but feel I live very well. Being able to have a budget and stick to it has made me pretty independent. I started doing "no spend" months a couple of years ago. I enjoy doing them now! It is a challenge to be sure. Since I do most of my buying online anyway it is a challenge I can meet. Saving in advance to buy something I want is one change that I found to be the most important one. I ask myself if this is something I really need to spend money on? Or is there another way? An example is that I wanted to shred my papers before throwing them away. Our dumpster has homeless people going through it at night and ripping our garbage bags open. I was looking at paper shredders online and didn't really want to spend the money for one. I spoke to my manager about this and she told me I (or anyone living here) could bring my papers down to her office and shred them there. Now I do not have to spend the extra money for one! 

Neighbors

Another change that happens often living in an apartment building concerns your neighbors who live in the other apartments. Some are great and get along with everyone. Some are not so. I stay away from the negative ones the best I can. Always complaining about something or someone. Being that negative will take a toll on their health eventually. As soon as I see them coming I head the other way. Wonder if they will even notice that? Probably not since that person is only focused on what they want to complain about. To anyone. For myself, I try to present a cheery presence at all times. Even if I am hurting or sad. If something is bothering me I stay to myself in my apartment. Listening to music always lifts my mood. 

My Family

My mother used to say I was more like my father than her. I looked like her (I guess, because that is what everyone always said) but my personality and nature was more like my Daddy. My brother was more like my Mom than me. My father had a pleasant cheery nature. In the morning, preparing breakfast he would be whistling. I would jump out of bed to go be with him before he left for work. I want to be that type of person even though I had many bad times to go through in my own lifetime. I have made it to the other side now!

Copyright © 2024 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2024  Kathleen G. Lupole

 

One Simple Change Can Change Your Whole Life

Life is strange. One minute you are living your life a certain way, then before you know it everything is different. It has changed for one reason or another. One change can cause the rest of your life to become unsettled. For instance, if you suddenly experience a serious illness, the loss of someone whether by death, divorce or separation or loss of employment, then your life is changed. There are times when you are forced to be the one to make the change. Even if you don't want to or are scared to do so. You just need to take that first step. Stepping out of your comfort zone is never easy.

At my age now, I see many changes over the years that took place in my own life. They were never simple or easy. Many I had no control over. Some changes I made happen myself. Not always because I wanted to, but because I had no choice. It was either live or die. At one time I was married to a bad alcoholic. We could have had a good life but I could not deal with the constant drinking. I am not exaggerating one bit. I barely drank. Well to be honest, I did not drink at all. When I started dating him I tried to. I could not tolerate alcohol for some reason (at the time I did not know I had multiple chemical sensitivity). Leaving him was a no brainer. Had to leave and never regretted it.

As you age though, it doesn't look good on you to be a heavy drinker, cigarette smoker or drug user. It affects your health and also your looks. Maybe others making remarks because you don't do what they do makes you feel like you have to do it even if you don't want to. Don't! Letting others influence you to go against your own beliefs is always wrong. I have never been a follower. Yes, I did things that were "in" at the time or that others did.....but NEVER because of their influence. I did those things of my own free will.

Keto Salad

Maybe friends of mine think because I try to follow the low carb/ketogenic diet that I am being a follower. No, that is not why I follow this particular way of eating. It is because of the way it makes me feel. Every time I eat processed high carb foods or sugar I pay for it with my health. The funny thing is the very people who put down the keto food plan are the people who should be on it themselves. They need to look in the mirror and look at their own health records and count how many pharmaceutical drugs they are on. That is their choice and I don't try to change it.

Changes in your life no matter how small will affect your life on down the road. Looking out for yourself is not selfish. In fact, it is the right thing to do. How can you help your loved ones if you are suffering from addictions? Poor health? Or undesirable domestic situations? You can't. Now look on down the road, 20, 40 or even 50 years into your future. Whatever you do today at a young age will most definitely affect you in the future.  

Now at my age it is too late to worry about what I did or did not do when I was younger. I have to work with where I am at right now. No matter what I will not lose my hope or positive mental attitude. I will always be in control of my life and if something or someone threatens that I will find another way. Patience is key. Time seems to do more than heal all wounds. It helps me get a better perspective on my problem or life. 

Copyright © 2021 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2021  Kathleen G. Lupole

My Random Thoughts

The lobby at the front entrance of my apartment building.

I wake up early, free to do whatever I want. That is as long as I get Rabbit his handful of morning greens. He is doing binkys all around me as I try to make my way out to the kitchen. Turn the coffeepot on. Make my coffee. Drink the whole pot. Or pour it in the thermos. It will still be there later. No one to drink it up on me. I check my computer. I check my emails. Say good morning to my friends. Sometimes my adopted daughter, L, messages me to see if I am up. Needs her hair braided. She is just down the hall. She used to be my son’s girlfriend and just happened to be living in this very building that I wanted to move into. We have become pretty close now, even though they have been broken up for awhile and she has a new love in her life. It is fine with me, I understand exactly. Couples meet couples fall in love. couples fall out of love. couples split up. Not all, but it is a common cycle.  

It has been difficult for me trying to write my blog now. All those topics that used to appeal to my readers had to do with homesteading, self-sufficiency and self-reliance. None of those activities are a part of my life any longer. I am on to other goals and a completely different lifestyle. Some of the things I wrote about though, I still do. I still cook, I still am frugal, I still am caring for my pet rabbit and other things too. I remember all those days before I moved here wondering if I would even keep this blog going. I decided to do away with Solar Baby, my blog about living with solar, since I do not live with solar any longer. I have gotten so used to the grid electric, that I would not be able to get into writing an article about the solar. As my old life is fading, my new one is focusing on me more, not the lifestyle. 

At the age of 66, I want to establish a life that is simple, focused on me and accomplish the goals I had set down on paper more than two years ago. I am doing that right now. After I got moved in and settled, I had to get my son moved near by. He is disabled and I look out for him. Not easy, since he an adult and can be stubborn at times. But it is extremely important to me that he is a part of my life. I still have a number of health issues to take care of and one I am working on tomorrow. My first appointment to deal with that. It is a good feeling as I cross out a goal that I have accomplished. Some of them I never thought I would. 

It took me a few months to finally get my apartment set up and bring my stuff from my house and include it in this small 338 square foot room. I have a storage area downstairs also. So that helps, but it is not that big. I still have canning equipment to pick up from my house and not sure if I will actually be canning here. I do not have much room or need for that much food. Maybe I will sell that stuff little by little over time. Some of my jars are from my parents and I am quite sentimental about those. It is best for them to go to people who need them and will use them. The same sentiment I had when I sold their home. My first purchase of canning jars was from a lady who had lost her husband a few months before and did not need to can as much food anymore. She was a little sad selling them to me, but she kept some for small canning amounts. I loved doing it and it is hard knowing I may not ever do it again. 

Living in the downtown area of a small city makes it easier for me to do the things I need to do. Not having a vehicle is really not that hard since there is a few different types of public transportation here. They are much cheaper than a motor vehicle payment and related expenses. The bus is only fifty cents if you have a Medicare card, which I do. I just have not tried it yet. I was was waiting for a cool day. Now that fall is almost here, the weather hopefully will become cooler. Today it was. I could not stand to leave my air conditioned apartment the whole time it was so hot. I even dreaded going to the grocery store and I was riding in an air conditioned car. 

The one thing I have noticed is that your age is not what makes you feel old. It is either the way you live or not being happy and satisfied in your life. You can still have problems, illnesses, financial problems, family problems or a million other problems. You have to learn to deal with them so they do not overwhelm you. Set aside a certain time of the day to try to figure out how to take care of them and when that time is over, put those problems aside till tomorrow. My mom always said to make a list of your problems and under each one a list of the pros and cons of how to solve them. It has always helped me. Sometimes your problems are not as bad as you think. I had a friend recently step in and help me with some problems that I felt were strangling me. I was depressed and upset constantly. He stepped in a few days ago and WHOOSH! Like that, those problems are history! Thank you my friend, you know who you are! 

 

Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole

Updated 2021

Time Marches On

I read something I wrote eleven years ago and it still is true today. It caused a pain in my heart. Like I had been stabbed. It was something I needed to change in my life and was miserable about. Instead I lived with it for all those years. I am hanging my head in shame! No excuses! I know everyone would say to me to make it work. Keep trying. Don't give up. Easier said than done. Especially if things are so bad that you are always upset, mad, sad, crying in your pillow every night.........then get the heck out of that situation! No matter what it is. A relationship, a lifestyle, a job, a location. Just cut your losses and get out.

These type of situations hurt and make you sad while are living it. If you don't make the change, then your life is hopeless. So you must bite the bullet and make the change. If you find it hard to do, that does not matter. Do you really want to keep doing what you hate? Every day for the rest of you life? Living a life you hate is like just waiting to die. That is why so many people sit in front of a television all day long. Just doing the same old trivial things they do day after day. Time marches on.

If you are miserable.........get up right now and do something, anything to change it. Start making changes and once you do, you will never look back. It is not meant for our lives to be so boring, mundane and miserable. They are meant to be lived to the fullest every day! Make a list of whatever you need to do to get started. I have been doing this for a long time now. The difference is, this is my first year that I have actually started making the changes I must, to go on with my life. At times, my pain of my situation has been staggering. I do not really suffer from depression, it more like sadness of wanting to make changes in my life and not knowing how to get started. Or even being able to do so due to my finances.

My Daddy's chestnut tree that he planted

What I have learned in my own search for happiness, independence and freedom is that at times in your life you must accept help from others to get yourself started. Once you are out there, then perhaps you can find your own way. Otherwise you never will. Not getting started will keep you in a miserable life forever. Life is so short that you must take your chances when they arise and strike out to create that life you see in your head, mind and dreams. Yes, it is possible but you must at least try!

Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole

For So Long

My heart was sad for so long,

I got used to it that way.

Nothing changed, no matter what,

I did my best, but lost my hope.

Searched for help constantly,

a futile effort it was for me.

Never giving me results,

needing not much to get by,

just a place to lay my head.

A safe home for my stuff,

a happy place to call my own,

for me and my lil’ bunny boy.

Freedom to do as we please.

lights, water running into sinks,

taking showers day and night.

People to meet and talk to,

making friends here and there,

a normal life like everyone else.

Not looking at it from afar,

or wishing I was like everyone else. 

I, not always lived this way,

I am sure I could fit in after a bit,

getting used to modern conveniences,

like always before, no longer secluded,

no one making choices for me anymore.

Doing what and how I please

excites me so much, you wouldn’t believe.

I have been planning this for so long,

never thought it would actually happen.

Someone to talk to, helped make my decision,

pushed me along till it is finally time.

Time to say good-bye to this life,

to live like normal people,

who take things for granted,

they use every day.

Places they go and cars they drive,

not spending months at a time,

without going away from their home.

Soon I will be one of them too.

Never would have gotten this far,

was held back by not having a car.

So kept thinking and writing why,

I needed to do this and hopefully now,

is the time, won’t be too late.

I am determined now to not let anything,

get in my way or stop me,

from walking out that door.

This means the end of my life,

as I have known it, for many years.

It is time to make this change,

for my well being and mental self.

It scares me to death.........

but I know it is something, I must do!

It is the hardest thing I have ever done,

though have been dreaming of it,

forever, and wanting it so bad.

What is wrong with me?

Am I so scared of the fury of the dark man?

Who presides over my life, that the fear

becomes unbearable at times.

Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole