Don't Miss Out On Life

One thing that happens with people who live alone and especially senior citizens, is that they don't go outside of their comfort zone. It feels safe in there. I know. I have had to step out of it many times in my life. I step out and am thankful I did but then I create another comfort zone. I believe that part of life is continually pushing myself to try new things and activities. At least try it for a period of time. Yes, of course, I want to feel safe and stay with what I know. But how many times did you try something new and wish you had done it a long time ago? My answer is more times than I like to think.

Martin Kappel Theater

This last week I did it again. Twice. Stepped out of my comfort zone. The first thing I did was to buy a ticket to go to the musical, The Wizard of Oz that was playing in the Martin Kappel Theater that is in the other half of the apartment building I live in. The Norwich Theater Company put on an excellent production and I enjoyed it very much. The theater was crowded and it seemed most of the people knew each other. People greeting each other and were happy to see one another. It was nice to see and no, I did not feel left out. Actually I enjoyed it because it was a happy environment to spend a few hours. I am a “people watcher” and there were a lot of people to watch that day. 

Norwich Center where the theater is

Because I was using a walker I was told to go in when they announce season ticket holders. Then I was directed to a seat in the back row on the aisle. It was perfect for me because I do not like being in the middle of a crowd. They had a 20 minute intermission and the lines to the bathrooms were long. If I had needed to, I would have gone upstairs to my apartment since it was not even five minutes away. I did not let the fact that I was using a walker hold me back. In fact, it made everyone be friendlier to me and try to help me get through the crowd of people. 

Guernsey Memorial Library

The other thing I did was to go to the library and get a new library card. I had that on my list ever since I moved here but never did it. I don’t know why but in recent times the ramp to the library had homeless people camped out on it all hours of the day. The library has been actively trying to discourage that so the ramp was clear. I am happy to say that I now have a library card and will be going there. I always loved libraries and spent hours in various ones over the years. This library is right across the street from my apartment so will be convenient. Right now they are doing major construction inside so I am anxious to see what they have done once it is finished. In the meantime, I am going to check out their online site.

I have found that if I visualize the activity or experience before I do it I will enjoy it more. In fact, I will be looking forward to it. If I went through life expecting to have the worst experiences than that is what I will have. Instead I visualize a rewarding experience and that is usually how it turns out. In my mind I imagine what it will be like when I step inside the building like the theater or the library. Will people frown at me and say, "What is she doing here?" Or will they say, "Oh good a new person is here today!" And come forward to greet me or ask if they can help me. It is usually the latter. 

The park on the corner from my apartment

What have you done lately to step out of your comfort zone? The longer you put it off the harder it is to do it. After you do whatever it is, maybe like me you will be saying, Why didn’t I do that sooner?” Don’t miss out on life because you are stuck in your comfort zone!     

Copyright © 2023 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2023  Kathleen G. Lupole 

One Simple Change Can Change Your Whole Life

Life is strange. One minute you are living your life a certain way, then before you know it everything is different. It has changed for one reason or another. One change can cause the rest of your life to become unsettled. For instance, if you suddenly experience a serious illness, the loss of someone whether by death, divorce or separation or loss of employment, then your life is changed. There are times when you are forced to be the one to make the change. Even if you don't want to or are scared to do so. You just need to take that first step. Stepping out of your comfort zone is never easy.

At my age now, I see many changes over the years that took place in my own life. They were never simple or easy. Many I had no control over. Some changes I made happen myself. Not always because I wanted to, but because I had no choice. It was either live or die. At one time I was married to a bad alcoholic. We could have had a good life but I could not deal with the constant drinking. I am not exaggerating one bit. I barely drank. Well to be honest, I did not drink at all. When I started dating him I tried to. I could not tolerate alcohol for some reason (at the time I did not know I had multiple chemical sensitivity). Leaving him was a no brainer. Had to leave and never regretted it.

As you age though, it doesn't look good on you to be a heavy drinker, cigarette smoker or drug user. It affects your health and also your looks. Maybe others making remarks because you don't do what they do makes you feel like you have to do it even if you don't want to. Don't! Letting others influence you to go against your own beliefs is always wrong. I have never been a follower. Yes, I did things that were "in" at the time or that others did.....but NEVER because of their influence. I did those things of my own free will.

Keto Salad

Maybe friends of mine think because I try to follow the low carb/ketogenic diet that I am being a follower. No, that is not why I follow this particular way of eating. It is because of the way it makes me feel. Every time I eat processed high carb foods or sugar I pay for it with my health. The funny thing is the very people who put down the keto food plan are the people who should be on it themselves. They need to look in the mirror and look at their own health records and count how many pharmaceutical drugs they are on. That is their choice and I don't try to change it.

Changes in your life no matter how small will affect your life on down the road. Looking out for yourself is not selfish. In fact, it is the right thing to do. How can you help your loved ones if you are suffering from addictions? Poor health? Or undesirable domestic situations? You can't. Now look on down the road, 20, 40 or even 50 years into your future. Whatever you do today at a young age will most definitely affect you in the future.  

Now at my age it is too late to worry about what I did or did not do when I was younger. I have to work with where I am at right now. No matter what I will not lose my hope or positive mental attitude. I will always be in control of my life and if something or someone threatens that I will find another way. Patience is key. Time seems to do more than heal all wounds. It helps me get a better perspective on my problem or life. 

Copyright © 2021 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2021  Kathleen G. Lupole

Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone

A year ago, I was dreaming about moving into my own apartment. Now I have lived here for a few months less than a year. I have not looked back. How could I? It was a good move for me and my situation. Until I moved I felt like my life was over. That I was just waiting to die. I felt unhealthy and depressed. Now I am feeling energized almost every morning. I get up and say to myself, "what shall I do today?" A big perk of living alone is the freedom to do whatever you want to do every day. I admit to spending a lot of time on the computer. Not just social media. I have been working on my family tree for a number of years. Just recently, I went back to Flickr and I enjoy that site too.

I understand that some people do not like being alone and need people around them. Actually I live downtown in a small city and there are people all around me. In my apartment building, with 32 apartments, it is like living in a neighborhood where you know everyone. For the most part, we all get along and are friendly. It is not the type of place where someone is at your door all day long. For me though, I have always been an introvert and being alone has never been difficult for me. I love it and never get bored by having nothing to do. Mostly because I never have nothing to do. I am always working on something.

I had been seeing many inspirational posts about living the life you desire, you must step outside your comfort zone. Comfort zone? What is that anyway? I have learned that your comfort zone is not the same as mine or anyone else's. It has to be defined by YOU! I had to confront my comfort zone little by little. I could not just do it all at once. Make a list of what you would like to be doing in your life in the next five or ten years. Then cut it down into little steps by each year or months. Find the first step and then pursue it.

The comfort zone for me, for many years was being a wife and mother. Staying home and not working out in a regular job. Once my son was grown up and I was on my own, life was never easy for me again. I should have found some direction for my life at that time but I got sidetracked by marrying an alcoholic........and I did not even drink! What was I thinking? I did manage to get out of that and went on. My life though was to be difficult and it was usually due to financial complications. Waiting until I could draw my Social Security then allowed me to step outside that comfort zone (which was not very comfortable!). Having my own money made a difference.

Your goals do not have to be very big or outlandish. Like saying you want to marry a billionaire or become a rocket scientist. It can be simple like wanting to meet someone to go out to dinner or to movies with. Or signing up for volunteer work or getting a part time job. I have been taking my goals off my list as I accomplish them and then add new ones one. I had some major issues that I needed to get done as soon as possible so that is where I began. Now I am finding it easy to step out of my comfort zone. Try it!

Copyright © 2019 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2019  Kathleen G. Lupole

Updated 2023

Life Beyond The Comfort Zone

Peaceful Forest 2012

I started writing this blog in 2005, after having so many people asking me questions about this off the grid lifestyle. Most of them were on Homesteading Today which at that time was the number one homesteading forum to belong to. I have written on my other two blogs about it for a number of years also. Now I am making changes in my life as well on the blogs. I am not sure I will keep my off the grid blog going, Solar Baby. When I was new to it, back in 1999, not many people were living this way. Things were harder and we were learning right along with the professionals trying to develop the equipment for it. Now many people can put up an off the grid house with hardly any need to do it themselves. Buy any house in an off the grid area and have someone install your system and then live like anyone else. So that is the way they do it now. Unless they become grid-tied and you can do that in the city also.

The road to my house

I have lived this way and now am ready to move on and make changes in my life. My blogs will reflect that change gradually. I am not saying what will be happening for me yet, because I don't even know myself. But I am not ready to slow down and live my day to day life secluded from the rest of the world anymore. As a human being, changes are good for your growth and abundant life. How can you do something over and over and never go anywhere, mentally or in challenging yourself? Most importantly is that if you are not happy, why keep doing it?

In my garden 2017

At one time I always wrote that homesteading was important to me and in my heart. Not anymore. As I neared my sixties, I found more and more that I was terribly disenchanted with this life and wanted to make changes. I was not sure how I could do so. With determination I have pushed myself to go beyond my comfort zone and find new challenges. It is good for your well being and soul to do so. You will know when the time is right. Good luck!

Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole