Reflections of katlupe: changes

Showing posts with label changes. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Rev Up Your Daily Life!

Venture out of your home!

It is inevitable that as you age there will be times you wish you were younger. No matter where you are, whatever your circumstance, you wish for what you don't have or what you used to have. Good health, more money, better job, new car, big house, good children or a faithful, loyal spouse. The list can go on and on. It is good to a point to want a better life. We always think of things that could change what we have presently. Many times we have settled for what we had years ago when we were much younger. Maybe that hope of a change was somewhere in the back of our minds for years. Yet here you are at retirement age and no change in sight. No hope of change even lingers as a possibility now. As you watch your friends plan their trips to exciting new places you feel regret and sadness. Since you know that is not happening for you. Not now, not ever. Your daily life is all you have and it depresses you.

No matter what you did when you were younger to create the life you have presently, this is not the time to dwell on it. It is a done deal. Nothing will change it now. Instead get to work on finding the life that is within your reach today. Maybe you just need to get out more often and make new friends. Does it have to be friends in your age group? No, you can make friends based on your interests that includes people of all ages. If you are intimidated about walking into a group of people under your age, don't be. Hold your head high and remember you probably have valuable experience to share with these youngsters.

Library right across the street from my home!

Make a list of local events or groups that meet nearby that you can attend and pick one to start with. Your library or museums in your area are a vast source of information to expand your lifeline. Doing new things, meeting new people, going to new places or events can rev up your daily life to another level. Oh, you don't want to go because you use a walker or a mobility chair? Most places now are disabled friendly but you can call ahead to find out for sure. Want to learn new things? Take classes at your local college or high schools. I don't know if night classes are still a thing but I remember many times taking a ceramics class in my younger years. There were always a mix of young and old at these classes. Just search for a niche that catches your eye.

Learn to use a computer!

Please tell me that you know how to use a computer! Don't be one of those people who proudly declare, "I don't know anything about a computer!" I know a few of those people and some of them are always at my door wanting me to search something online for them. Or make a purchase on Amazon for them. There are literally millions of online classes, videos and forums for any subject you are interested in. If you do not know how to use a computer, now is the time to learn. Your local library is a good place to start. Call and find out if they have or know of a class for computer beginner users. They may have one that is specially targeted for retirement age people.

Take that step out of your comfort zone!

What it all comes down to is that no matter what age you are now, learning and participating in new things is good for you. Good for your well being but especially for your brain. If you have not been learning new things in a long time don't worry about that. It is like riding a bicycle. Once you know how to do it, you can always do it. You might be rusty at first but it doesn't take long to catch on. Seeing new places, new people and learning new things is so good for you. It gives you something to look forward to and expands your life beyond your four walls. Try it one new class or event at a time!

Monday, July 04, 2022

Be Happy Right Now

I have been a participant in a book discussion on 2 Krazy Ketos' YouTube channel recently. The book is called Atomic Habits written by James Clear. It uses the same concept that I have written about many times on this blog as well as my old blogs. That concept is what I have always called "little steps" and some of my readers may remember I had a blog with that title. The Japanese have long used this idea in their business practices under the name of kaizen, which means small improvements. Implementing one small change in your daily practices leads to other changes, one change at a time. Or one step at a time.

It is easier to make that first small step toward the big change you hope to eventually do. Just depends on you actually doing it. It can be something simple such as making your bed every morning right after you get up. Or taking a walk around your block or down your road. Then extending it a little further every time or doing another small chore right after making your bed. As soon as you are accomplishing the one new habit automatically every day it is time to begin the next one.

I have been doing this for a long time now. Many changes in my life have taken place and I owe it to this method. One thing that I lived with for a long time was a cluttered environment. Mainly because there was no storage available for simple every day things in my home. So when I moved from a house to a small studio apartment I was aware of what I had to eliminate to make room. Storage space is very limited here so I make choices in what I will keep and what I will not. It has been ongoing since I am still working on it. Progress has been made though and I have no clutter in my apartment.

Routines help. As soon as I walk in my door, I hang my coat or jacket up in the closet that is right next to the entrance. I put my keys in a small cloth bag that hangs on that closet's doorknob. I take my shoes off and put them on the bottom shelf of the bookcase opposite the closet. I take my wallet and phone out of my purse and hang the purse inside the closet. Then put my wallet away in a drawer. All done and put away. Not laying around in the way or to become misplaced. I never have to search for my keys. I did not start doing these things all on the same day. I started with the keys and continued until it was my habit.

One thing I had learned long ago from my first husband was when you have items you do not use or like get rid of them. Don't keep them around taking up space. My parents always had one room in their houses for junk or what I considered junk. Eventually it fell on me to clean out their home and garage when my father passed away in 2012. It was a horrible job and I would not wish that on anyone. Don't be a saver. Saving things for another time or in case you might need it. So what if you have to replace it later on?

My parents were very frugal people. Yet they paid movers to move us from NY to FL and then back again after a number of years. Did they get rid of that junk? Nope. Paid to move it. Then I had to put that same stuff in a dumpster which was not cheap. I think I had to get three dumpsters while cleaning out their home. Nothing was able to be sold. I am thankful I did not inherit this trait from them. I did not. I like wide open spaces when possible.

One of the most important things I would like to stress is to not wait for your goal to be happy and enjoy your life. Do it now! If you avoid getting together with family members or friends because you need to lose weight, just do it anyway. Something might happen to them or you and you will have missed that chance. Get in those family photos now! Take that trip you always wanted to do. Do not put off those things you want to do until you lose your weight or get that job or get a new car or move into a better house. They want to spend time with you now regardless of those things.

To think the little change or step you make today will change your life for the better later is hard to believe. It will. If you stick to it you can make it happen.

Saturday, September 14, 2019

Regrets Can Be Overcome

No matter how you live or what you do, others will always judge you. Instead of living your whole life trying to conform to their rules for YOUR life, disregard every judging remark they make. Yes, sometimes you might be wrong in not listening to them. If so, you will learn on your own. That is what we all must do. How many times have you heard a parent, a grandparent or friend tell you that they are just trying to save you from regret or hurt? If you do it your way and find out that maybe it is the wrong thing to do. But it was your choice and now you know. Sometimes though, their thoughts about your life was not right for you. The reason is because we are all different. Nobody, not even our parents or siblings have our thoughts or feelings. We are interested in certain things and they are not. And we have no interest in what they think is important.

Maybe that is why our parents' dreams for us when we are growing up cause so much pain, arguments and separations. Your heart is set on a certain path and your parents want "what is best for you" and "an easier life" for your future. Can't blame them for that. When we are young it is hard to live the way they want us to. We want to be like our friends. Taking up bad habits to fit in. Measuring our popularity by how cool our friends think we are. Knowing our parents won't approve of certain friends or lifestyle. Moving away from our families so we can be free to be who we want to be.

So you go through the years rebelling against your parents' dreams for you. Now not everyone does that. Some people settle down and listen to their parents and follow a path that will make their life easier. Not saying all parents have the right plans for their children either. Years later though, you may look back with regret that you did not listen to your parents and follow their plan for your life. You will never know if it would have been better for you or not. If you are older now and look back with an open mind, you may think how tough your life turned out. Looking back pinpointing every single mistake you made. How sad that because of those decisions your life turned out hard and stressful. It happens!

Regrets. Regrets. Regrets. I know for myself, now at this age, 67, I see many of those regrets. And they usually involved men. How could I have thought my life was centered on men? I did though. At a crucial spot in my life of doing something that would improve my future (like starting college, a job, moving, etc.), a man would show up in my life and stop all that progress. They always set me back. I have been married three times and not once did I get to the end of a marriage with any happy thoughts. Just relief that it was over. I spent my time encouraging and building their self-confidence up and getting nothing back in return.

Oh sure, in my first marriage, I lived the good life with plenty of money, nice cars, home, vacations, clothes and jewelry. It was not enough. When you come right down to it, money and material possessions are not enough to buy your happiness or love. Even gold diggers get bored with that life after awhile. I think that may be why you see rich couples cheating on each other so much. Breaking up. One or both of them bored with the other. Being with someone who is only thinking of their self. Feeling neglected or jealous of the children that came along. That is no way to live!

I am no expert on marriage by any means. In fact, it is where I failed badly. My life has improved so much since I moved into my own place. I have friends now. I go places. Do things I hadn't ever done or at least hadn't done in years. So just because you had a rough life in the past, does not mean it will continue that way. All you have to do is put out some effort to make the changes you want. Life is not waiting around for you to live the way you want. You are responsible for that. If you go to sleep every night wishing you were somewhere else..........then in the morning make a list of what you need to do to make that change.

Tuesday, May 08, 2018

Sadness Or Happiness

Sadness encircles my heart today,

a feeling of which I cannot control.

Changes I make for my own well being,

hurt others, once loved by me.

No matter what roadblocks pop up,

obstacles in my quest for life,

a life created in my dreams.

Is there a reason it is not meant to be?

Or is it a life needed to be fought for,

over and over till the end of my time?

Strength fails me at times, I grow weak,

my endurance is tiring, I fall asleep.

Living so long as a shell of myself,

can it even be fixed in a simple moment?

No, I have lived too long in sadness,

agony, bitterness and anger.

I prayed for a way out, for a release,

finally it came, Started to feel happy again,

as time grew closer to my escape,

I became worried, then scared.

Instead of drawing closer to others,

I felt myself pulling away. Standing back

and reflecting on my thoughts, hopes

and dreams. When will my release come?

A prison of a life, held back by circumstance.

Will it be another passing moment in my life,

that was wrong or a disappointment?

No matter how many friends gather

to help me, I feel alone and isolated,

even in the midst of many.

I confide in few, my trust is guarded,

secretive is the way I live mostly.

Not wanting to share my pain with

the world, not needing pity or criticism,

and knowing, judging looks of people

who live superior lives, that look down

on others. I held my head high, regardless.

A friend took my hand and guided me,

encouraged me all the way to the door.

Kept me going and not letting me miss

my chance and on I marched to life,

my life, my new life. So many things

I had to do, sometimes almost giving up,

but on I went and soon it was worth the wait.

Now the day is upon me, leaving behind all my

sadness, grief and unspoken words. All those

reasons that propelled me into my new life,

and on through the door. The door to new

beginnings, my new life.

Friday, April 20, 2018

Reality Becomes Your Dream

I lay awake at night thinking thoughts of how to make my changes become reality. It is not easy when someone else is involved. You are not free to just do what you please without convincing him or her that this is what you must do for your own self. For your health, happiness and life. Yes, making changes is never easy, but once you do it, you will feel the burden lifted from your shoulders. Life goes on no matter what. If you spend it miserable and sick, that is your fault. You cannot place the blame on someone else.

It is true that like the horses, you may think the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Then you find it is not and you want to be led back to the side you were on. Like my horses do when they get out of their paddock. They can't wait to get back in. Alas, the same is true for us when making a change in our life. That is not saying you should never make a change. Change is actually good. It is part of growing as a person. The big life changes are the ones I am talking about here. They are hard to do, but if you really want to make a change in your life, you must take that first step.

A staple of the low carb food plan is bacon and eggs!

Over recent years I have made many changes in my life. I feel I cannot go any further now until I make one of those big life changes, which is in the process as I write this blog post today. A change I made a number of years ago was to start following a low carb food plan, the Atkins Diet, to be exact. I love it and it has helped me immensely. I have not stuck to it as I should though and many times I end up starting over. Now I have evolved to the Ketogenic food plan, which uses many of the same principals as the Atkins 72 (the original one). I am happy with this way of eating and now am making another change by adding Intermitten Fasting to my plan. On I go, making changes along the way to what suits me.

This month I made another big change and that was going to my doctor. I had not been to once since 2002 and imagine my surprise to find that my original and favorite doctor was still practicing and in the same office. I will be going back in a few days and get the results of the blood tests he had ordered for me. Then as I am incorporating whatever changes in my life he recommends, as well as the ones I am doing on my own, I will be getting healthier. I can then compare it to my doctor's reports on my tests. I may ask for a copy of those tests to take home.

The things I need to do to become more healthy are not new ideas to me. I know what I need and I have plans to start more of these soon. I have started drinking more water and I also cut out using any sweeteners for the time being. The ones I use are mostly Sweet Leaf Stevia in various forms and Swerve for cooking. But I am foregoing them presently just to give myself a push. Presently I cannot only buy organic products, though I try as much as possible. If you search on Google for the dirty dozen of fruits and vegetables you will see that some are okay to buy without the higher price of organic. I use that as guide.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Life Beyond The Comfort Zone

Peaceful Forest 2012

I started writing this blog in 2005, after having so many people asking me questions about this off the grid lifestyle. Most of them were on Homesteading Today which at that time was the number one homesteading forum to belong to. I have written on my other two blogs about it for a number of years also. Now I am making changes in my life as well on the blogs. I am not sure I will keep my off the grid blog going, Solar Baby. When I was new to it, back in 1999, not many people were living this way. Things were harder and we were learning right along with the professionals trying to develop the equipment for it. Now many people can put up an off the grid house with hardly any need to do it themselves. Buy any house in an off the grid area and have someone install your system and then live like anyone else. So that is the way they do it now. Unless they become grid-tied and you can do that in the city also.

The road to my house

I have lived this way and now am ready to move on and make changes in my life. My blogs will reflect that change gradually. I am not saying what will be happening for me yet, because I don't even know myself. But I am not ready to slow down and live my day to day life secluded from the rest of the world anymore. As a human being, changes are good for your growth and abundant life. How can you do something over and over and never go anywhere, mentally or in challenging yourself? Most importantly is that if you are not happy, why keep doing it?

In my garden 2017

At one time I always wrote that homesteading was important to me and in my heart. Not anymore. As I neared my sixties, I found more and more that I was terribly disenchanted with this life and wanted to make changes. I was not sure how I could do so. With determination I have pushed myself to go beyond my comfort zone and find new challenges. It is good for your well being and soul to do so. You will know when the time is right. Good luck!

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Patience Is A Virtue So They Say

Everyone rushing to get somewhere.

Patience is a virtue you don't see much of these days. Everybody is in a hurry. That must be why I took to living here so easily. I had no reason to hurry unless it was during the times I had a job. Then of course, I had to do a bit of rushing around to leave for work, rushing to drive to work and then rushing to do my job. Watching the clock until it was time to leave. At the end of my shift rushing to get home and get all my chores done and supper on the table. Same thing the next day and so on.

It is a lot of work out here.

I find myself not being patient anymore. It seems to me that after hitting the magic number of 65, I am impatient to get on with my life. Needless to say, time waits for no one. Not even me! Some people, like my brother, do not like any kind of change. Not me, I am so anxious to make changes in my life. The trouble is living out in the country where I do, when winter comes it is like being stuck in a time capsule of some sort. Can't move ahead, at least for myself. There are things I need to do for my health that I am unable to do here. I know when I write that, nobody can imagine what I am talking about. They say, "Oh, that Kathy is a drama queen." No, I am just expressing my feelings aloud for once. I am done pretending. No longer will you hear me say I love living off the grid or homesteading. It is a hard way to live. If you never do anything but chores and survive from one day to the next it is not easy. What is the point of it all?

Lilies emerging in the spring

I feel like I have lost control of my life. The urge to take it back is strong. I am using visualization to create the life I want and picture it. I do this many times through out my day. Not everyone is cut out for homesteading or off the grid living. When I was younger it was one thing. But it never got easier. You can't spend your life waiting. Waiting is dying, just surviving. I need to live now. So that is what my plan is. You will see me emerge in the very near future. I will be writing about it on this blog.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Changes Can Be A Good Thing

What makes someone decide to change their life? Could be money. Or a relationship. Maybe health issues. Your children or elderly parents. Even a job or financial issues. A number of factors figure into it. Sometimes, you just get bored with what is going on in your life. You want to make some changes. For me, it is not so much that I don't want to be a homesteader or self-sufficient anymore. But I want CHANGE! I am 60 now, and want life a bit easier and a bit more interesting. It's now or never, as far as I am concerned.

Living off-the-grid has been an interesting way to live. No electric bills, other than gas for a generator. No heating bills, except that this year we purchased firewood logs for the first time. Probably will have to do that from now on. Don't want to take all our trees down. Everyone who does not live off-the-grid makes it sound like a wonderful dream. Well, it COULD be that way, if we had a lot of money and could have finished our house the way we planned. And built our alternative energy system larger to handle more power. Life happens.

This year my husband has started rebuilding his motorcycle. He said if he doesn't do it now, he never will. He wants to ride it, but wants it to run better and look awesome. So he has been working on that. Him doing that has made me think about what I want to do. What I want is a different place to live. A more modern house with more conveniences. Grid-tied would be great!

So I am working on my life, since he started working on his bike. Fair exchange, I think. I think he is also working on his relationship with his grown son. Moving from this homestead is part of the change in the future.. What nobody knows is that our house is pretty close to the road. The road is a dirt road through the state forest, but has become busier and busier since we moved here thirteen and a half years ago. Houses are sprouting up in the area, and more people have moved here from NJ and Long Island areas. Not that it is bad, just they are from the big city and bring that with them. Driving in a hurry down a little dirt road for no reason, other than they are used to being in a hurry.

With the death of my father this year, it has brought my life into focus for me. I need to change things I am not happy with. I can keep the things I am happy with. Make life easier and try to develop the ties with my family and friends, that I haven't seen much of in the last thirteen and a half years. Become my own person again. These are my goals for the coming year. I hope it is better.

Updated 2020

Pages