Happy Relationships Depend On The People In Them

Did you ever listen to someone who talked like they were VERY successful and knew everything about everything? Yet, they were not successful? In fact, they had nothing and was in their mid thirties. Had no home of their own and going from one job to another. One bad relationship after another. Which was always the other person's fault. Oh, of course, NOTHING was their fault! Then when they stated their views on relationships you could certainly see why.

I have been around someone who talked and thought this way recently. Believe me, it is very hard for me not to say something and end up in a fight with this person. REAL men are nothing like that. My father was a strong, but caring man. He was tough when the situation warranted it. My brother too, though he comes across as a rough character, he has a gentle, caring side as well. Just because you don't let people walk all over you, does not mean you have to be abusive.

Being abusive for no reason other than selfishness and wanting to use someone else, does not give you a license to torment and be cruel to someone else. I often wonder WHY does someone like this have to involve their life with another's? Why don't they just pay a prostitute for sex and leave the good women alone? Life would be so much better for all involved and it would limit them having children. A person like that does not deserve to have even one child........yet most of the time they have a few by different women. Shows their lack of intelligence, don't you think so?

On Oprah's website she has a list of signs of abusive partners/spouses. I can see these signs in a people who have problems dealing with people in general, not just as a spouse, but even a grown child or family member. Be careful how much you give in to them, as you may live to regret it. Tough love is a must in dealing with people of this sort, as well as addicts, and I mean alcohol as well as drugs. Get help from someone if you need it. I was married to an alcoholic and went to Al-anon for help, though they help any type of addiction. Get the help you need now!

Copyright © 2012 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2012  Kathleen G. Lupole

"Know It Alls" Get On My Nerves!

Have you ever noticed how everyone is a expert these days? What ever you are doing, somebody knows more about doing it than you do. Even if it is something that they have never done before. Something that gets to my husband is how people who have never done whatever it is before, will tell him how to do it. And many times, he has done this before and is very good at doing it.

One of his friends stopped by when he was putting insulation in our kitchen walls. We had dry wall standing close by, stacked by another wall. His friend started telling him how you have to spackle it. Goodness! He didn't even have the insulation in, or the dry wall nailed on yet! We did have a brand new container of spackle that we bought for that purpose. The funny thing about this incident is, that this guy has never even done this kind of work himself. And my husband has done houses before, and I even had done spackling myself. But our friend didn't know what we knew, and we certainly didn't ask for his advice. So why did he offer to instruct us? Who knows?

We both listen to people do this all the time. People just like to tell you things even if they are wrong. Sometimes I will argue. I sometimes wonder if it is a test and they are waiting to see if I catch it or not. Other times I am just trying to be polite to someone and not prove they are wrong or stupid. Sometimes it is something that I would think is common sense or common knowledge. Many times, it is our own family members who tell us things that we already know or planned on doing, but haven't gotton to it yet.

I love to go to some forums. But I have found that you have to be careful what you talk about. Don't discuss horses or what to feed dogs. Those are two subjects that have so many "know-it-alls" that I would rather not join in those discussions. So many people, on forums and even in every day life think they know everything about horses. I admit it, I don't know everything and I don't claim to.

But my husband can ride most any horse, even the ones other people are afraid to ride. And he does not use any force. Horses just love him. And most other animals do too. All those so called horse experts can give you all kinds of advice and try to sound like they know everything and still not know a thing. I have a friend who pays a trainer to help her break her horse. My friend does not know alot about horses, and is even a green rider. But her trainer, made her get on the horse for the first time. Must be the trainer was afraid to. But don't you think she would have been the one to get on the horse first?

Once before, the same friend, had a driving horse and was paying another trainer to train the horse to drive and to teach her to drive the horse as well. They were out on a track with the horse and the horse took off, what do you think her trainer did? What all good trainers would do, I guess. She jumped out, leaving my friend in the cart with the horse racing around a race track!

Copyright © 2005  Kathleen G. Lupole