Remembering Good Times With My Family

 

My parents in 1979

My brother and I were quite lucky to have been born to our parents. They were the best parents and we clearly knew we were loved and wanted. It was just the four of us and I feel we were a pretty close family. Our parents spent time with us even though they worked. In our early years we lived in Harpursville, NY. My parents built and ran a gas station that was right across the road from our house. At that time the road was very busy with vehicles and tractor trailers going by almost all day long. Our gas station was the local hangout for teenage boys learning how to work on their cars. My father didn't mind teaching them how to fix and do preventative maintenance. That was why my brother learned at an early age how to drive and fix them.  

Dran's Atlantic gas station in Harpursville, NY

Even though our gas station was open seven days a week, my parents managed to put aside some time for our family. We always ate home cooked meals by my mother. Sometimes my father did not eat with us because he was so busy across the street. When that happened my mother would eat with us and then go across the street to mind the station so he could come eat his meal. She could pump gas and check oil and add oil if needed. That was back when gas stations were full service stations. She also did all the book work for the business of running Dran's Atlantic gas station.

My uncle winning a race!

I think it was Friday nights that we went to the stock car races at Five Mile Point in Kirkwood, NY. Mom would bring heavy army blankets for us to sit on. Back then bleachers were basically a slab of wood and not that comfortable. I would end up laying on the blanket covered up. The excitement for me of the races would be overcome by sleep. My brother though, was into it the whole time no matter how late it got. After the race we would walk around the track and he and my father would examine all the places the cars had wrecked during the race. We also went to races in Pennsylvania. I think it was Penn Can. Not sure about the exact name now.

Our family, Grandmother, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins & Me

In those years all my aunts, uncles and cousins lived nearby and we saw them often. Almost every Sunday Mom would take me and sometimes my brother, to visit her brother (my uncle) and his family. It was my favorite place to go! I loved my cousins and would have fun playing with them. Sometimes we would pick up my grandmother and take her with us. If my brother was with us he would hide in the back of the car and tell me to get our cousins to come out and look for him. They would too! He would surprise them by jumping out of the car! I don't think they were really surprised because I had to hint he was out there for them to go look anyway.

Grandma

I spent a lot of time back then with my grandmother. She lived 8 miles from our house. I loved being there with her. Sometimes I would spend two nights or more with her. She would make me a bed on the couch in front of the television. It was so cozy and I felt so happy being with her. She would make us popcorn and hot cocoa. We would watch television with all the lights off. Often she would tell me stories about her growing up on a farm. Her old house was beautiful to me. I loved it even though her children (my aunts and uncles) wanted her to get rid of it. It was full of treasures!

Grandma in front of her barn

She had almost 100 acres of land. There was a big barn right across the road. It was a sad day when they took it down. I remember that day clearly, even though I was really young. I found a baby bird that must have fallen out of a nest. When I brought it inside my grandmother (who thought birds were nasty and full of diseases) had me put it in a box and set it out in the yard for the mother bird to get it back. Later I checked on it and it was gone. At the time I thought the mother bird did come back for it. Now all these years later, I wonder if my grandmother removed it from the box and put it somewhere that I would not see it.

Grandma's home on Snow Road, Harpursville, NY

Now all these years later my memories give me comfort. I like to remember those times with my family. Memories are even more important than pictures as you age. I can picture every room of my grandmother's house in detail. Actually all the houses we lived in too. I don't need pictures to remember them. You may not remember things as they actually were or happened. It doesn't matter though. Your memories are your memories. Treasure them! 

Copyright © 2024 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2024  Kathleen G. Lupole

Memories Are An Important Part Of Our Lives

 

As you get older, your memories become pretty important. You remember past relationships and wonder what happened. Or what would have become of it if you had done this or he had done that? Maybe your life would not have turned out the way it did. Though it could have been worst instead of better too. We all make mistakes along the way in this journey of our life. I myself, have made quite a few. Now as I reflect on it, my life and my memories, I think my life has been fairly normal. My memories are good and when I think about them I like to write them down (I have to write everything down). That way I will have them just in case I can't remember them later on. 

Mom at our first house

I was not aware of being any different from others, but I seem to have a much better memory than most people. Someone asked me what was my earliest memory and I didn't even have to think about it. I was still sleeping in a crib! My mother came in to ask me what kind of doll I wanted Santa Claus to bring me. I think it was Christmas Eve and we lived in our second house, which we have always called the red house. I told her a Jeannie doll and must be that was what I got. My crib was upstairs in our house and there was a big blackboard at the top of the stairs that my father took out of the old schoolhouse he bought on the property next door. I didn't remember using that blackboard but it was always in my memories and dreams. Years later, my parents spoke of that particular blackboard and how my father removed it from the schoolhouse for our house. I thought to myself, "Oh yeah, that's the blackboard in my memories."

Me, making memories!

Yet there are times when I meet people that I knew in my past and I don't remember them now. How embarrassing is that! I blame it on my age. In truth, some relationships were more meaningful than others so I think that is why they are still clear in my mind. Often people block a memory because it was a bad one and they just put it out of their mind. I haven't had to do that so much. Most of my memories I can live with just fine. It is just that I have so many. One problem is that I remember things exactly how they happened or when and others don't remember it like I do. I just say what I remember and leave it at that. I know most people have a distorted memory or they change it a bit to make it more interesting or to make their part in it bigger or better.

I worked for a lot years in nursing homes and some of the residents did not know their family members or their names. Yet they could tell you in detail about their early years. A lady I took care of never spoke. She would just nod her head for yes or no. One time her medication got messed up and nobody noticed. I took her in for a shower and sitting in the shower chair she spoke! Then she started talking nonstop. I wanted to ask her everything I wondered about. Of course as soon as her medications were straightened out I never heard her talk again. That was why I liked to play the big band music CDs during their dinner hour. Some residents who never responded to anyone or anything would start tapping or moving their heads to the music.  A few would even singing along. I loved it. Just play Led Zeppelin for me! 

My parents, 1942

My parents had gathered a lot of memories over their sixty years of marriage. My mother would share them with me often. They both had a easy, good nature about them and humor was key to their happiness. My father was always telling a joke and he always had a new one to tell. He took care of my mom when she got sick with Cushing's Syndrome around 1976. I would hear them laughing over something together. Once my mom was crippled from the disease, her memories became even more important to her than ever. She had done a lot of physical things in her life and the memories of them gave her comfort the best they could. Being forced to a life of medications,walkers and beds she found other interests but it was never the same. 

Copyright © 2021 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2021  Kathleen G. Lupole

Changes In My Life

The road to my home goes through the state forest.

I have seen many changes in my life over the years. Even if you do not live a long life, that holds true for everyone. Life would be pretty boring if changes did not take place. Looking at a person in their nineties, we often hear remarks of wonder of all they have seen in their lives. I discussed all the changes my father had seen in his lifetime with him often. He loved to talk about it. He was very alert and knowledgeable right to his last days. These conversations with him were some of my favorite conversations with him that I will always treasure.

The pot of gold is my homestead!

In social media we are discussing our favorite periods of our lives often. Someone will post a picture of some item we used in the past asking if you remember using it. Many times that once forgotten item will take me back on what I call my memory train. Back to another time and place. I personally don't have any really bad memories, unless I count as a teen, becoming a single mother and running away from home too scared to tell my parents. That turned out okay though because of my mother, who always made bad situations better. Two other bad periods for me were my two divorces, which is a subject better left buried.

Our Barn

For the most part, changes in my life were many and usually at the time, I felt they were good. I liked change. It was exciting to explore the new things it would bring to my life. One of the biggest changes of course, was moving to my off the grid home in 1999. That was the year everyone was preparing for the year 2000 and what was going to happen due to computers running everything, known as the Y2K. Truthfully, we didn't do much as far as the Y2K was concerned once we moved here. Instead we were busy preparing for winter. No computers. No televisions. In fact, I gave away my own big screen television because I felt even if I could ever power it - it was out of place here.

Cooking and heating water on my wood cook stove.

Was the change good for me? I thought so. Now I think it certainly was. Living with no electric bill for over sixteen years was good indeed. Over the years we have saved thousands of dollars including the cost of our alternative energy system. No cost of fuel for heating, most of the time, except for gas and chainsaws and their parts. I think we have only purchased about four loads of logs in all that time. I haven't figured out how to eliminate propane (for cooking) since I need it for canning. All winter I cook on my wood cook stove, which is my favorite method of cooking. I also use the wood heating stove for cooking and heating water during the winter. One time the propane delivery man asked me, "Don't you cook?" I sure do! I cooked and baked a lot back then. Homemade made from scratch. No processed foods most of the time. I still cook, but don't bake so much now since we eat low carbs.

Our road in winter

In 1999, my husband could cut a tree down and let it fall across the road and not have to hurry because of cars driving by. It was days before we'd see one or two cars go by. Now more and more people are moving from cities to the country. Mainly from NJ, Long Island and NYC in our area. I don't blame them for wanting to leave. It has made us think of looking for a more secluded place. But then again, do I really want to start over again? In our sixties? Right now we are centrally located from several small towns and one small city. Once our two elderly cats are gone, I think the traffic on our road won't be such a big stress point for me.

Peaceful Forest

My most recent change has been doing almost all my shopping online. Yes, even groceries and household products. It is easier for me to find what I need on the four sites I shop at regularly, Amazon, Netrition, Emergency Essentials and Walmart. I don't have to drive anywhere, which is good because at this time I do not have anything to drive (another big change for me). Most people do not like change and I am one of those people, IF it is forced on me. I need the changes to be my own doing.

Copyright © 2016 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2016 Kathleen G. Lupole

Updated 2018

Making Memories With People and Pets You Love

The Heart of the Homestead! The Barn!

When we first moved here in 1999, the forest grew almost up to our house. There was a little bit of yard, but not too much. It had never been taken care of as a lawn. This was a hunting camp, so no need to do that. In the summer, the owners did not use it that often. It was a mess. None of the hunters over the years who had owned it, cared about it enough to take of it. Once we moved in my husband made a lot of changes around here. One of the first was to remove the brush and blackberry bushes that surrounded the back yard. Then he built an outside campfire area with benches, for us to have outside fires in the evenings.

Hollie Sunshine with her baby, Angel Sunshine

One of my favorite memories was when my stepdaughter, Hollie and her baby, Angel, would spend a few days with us. We'd spend most of the evening out at the campfire talking, cooking food and roasting marshmallows. My husband would start playing his guitar, while he and Hollie sang songs he had written, and some that he hadn't. Hollie knew all the words to his songs, and had a beautiful voice. She was his biggest fan! Her and my husband were a lot alike in many ways.

Our Campfire

My son, Jeff was living with us here at that time too. One morning, we were all sitting out there cooking breakfast on the campfire. We were drinking coffee and talking, when our friends, Jim and Jessica, arrived for a visit. It was such a nice morning, because there we all were outside. Nikita was still a puppy and Angel, my husband's granddaughter was still a baby. Nikita would watch her if Hollie went inside for anything, by sitting close to her and not moving. Guarding her!

Peaceful Forest in earlier years

We offered them coffee and sat around talking. It always gives me a good feeling remembering times like that, because most people sit around inside their houses when visitors arrive. Hollie loved our house as much as we did. She loved the idea of living in the forest. She tried her best to buy a trailer, to move out on a piece of property nearby. Unfortunately, she was never able to attain that dream she had. She got the trailer, but never got to buy the property, to move it to. She had too many obstacles in her way. I think if she had, she may have found a new direction to take her life, and would still be with us.

Copyright © 2015 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2015 Kathleen G. Lupole

Memories To Remember

Our three little girls grazing on the lawn.

Sharing memories with your spouse, your children, your parents, siblings and friends are the cornerstone of your relationships. Those memories are like a link back to times shared with each of them. A special time that you and each of those people remember. It is not limited to people though. I have many special memories spent with my animals too. I find that animals have even better memories than many people.

My husband, Larry and I traveled for a period of time in an over-the-road truck in 1995-97. We went all over the country. Shared this experience making memories that nobody else, but Larry has with me. Like the time we were snowed in at a truck stop with other truckers and travelers in the state of Washington. Or the time we were stuck without loads in Denver for three days, and we hung out with the other company drivers. Or the time we visited Elvis's house museum, Graceland in Memphis. Great memories!

The unique memories, inside jokes and past conversations is what gives you a relationship with anyone. Even if you meet someone for the first time on a a subway or share a table in a busy restaurant and later run into that person............you have a connection. I have reconnected in this last year with my old friends from my schools in Crescent City and Flagler Beach, Florida. I share many unique memories with each of these friends. From riding the school bus together, swooning over the Beatles when they first appeared on the music scene, to hanging out in the hula huts along the pier on Flagler Beach or driving the famous Daytona Beach in a car full of friends. It was an instant re-connection as soon as we sent that first "add as a friend" request.

In a couple of weeks we will be going to our annual family reunion. It is the 30th year of the Lupole reunion. This year my husband will be videotaping it to preserve these precious memories. The memories of the oldest generation all the way to the newest generation. Memories in the making for sure! So we are planning ways to make this a family reunion remembered by making the videotape into a dvd memento for all.

You can create these special memories on purpose. Create those moments and family traditions that will live on. In my own family, my parents weren't into the holiday traditions so much since both of my parents worked. But when I had my son, I wanted him to have a traditional Christmas like in books and on television. So I created it. By the time my brother had his children, our family considered my home to be the place everyone went for Christmas dinner. His kids wouldn't have had a real Christmas if not for me. So I created memories for them all. And my own parents, as they got older, looked forward to Christmas at my house even though they had never done it themselves.

I will write more on memories in a future post.................but on ways to create some really awesome memories for your family and friends. Memories that your children can take with them!

Copyright © 2010 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2010 Kathleen G. Lupole