Random Thoughts on my Mind Today

Downtown Norwich, NY

 

Recently I took a walk with one of my friends who lives next door. Crossing the street to the park, talking and enjoying the sunshine and fresh air was so refreshing because I usually walk alone. There are actually four parks within walking distance of my apartment building. My favorite thing to do is to take my camera and take pictures while on my walk. Then I find a spot to sit and just people watch. Sometimes there are no people! The city I live in is not huge, so many times I go for a walk and don't pass another person the whole time. Now the traffic is another story! 

When I moved here I chose not to get a car of my own. The reason was because of the expense. My experience with vehicles is that they are very expensive even if you drive an old one. In fact, an old cheap one would probably be even more expensive due to repairs. I am quite happy with the decision not to own one. In winter I see the people cleaning off their cars so the snowplow can remove the snow in our parking lot.  I am relieved I don't have to do that. I am keeping my driver's license though so I can drive a car if I need to. 

On the way to the store!

Unfortunately I cannot walk to the grocery store. It is too far for me so I take my mobility chair, "Jazzy" when I need to shop. I also have a subscription to Instacart which I have used mostly in the winter so far. Race walking used to be my form of exercise in my previous life. Now just walking with a walker to the dumpster outside my building is an accomplishment. One of the things I want to stress to others is that no matter what disability you have it is important to strive for doing something out of your comfort zone. Otherwise you become stagnant. Not only in your physical body but in your mind as well. Instead of saying, "I can no longer do this." Say, "Since I can't do that now I will do this instead." 

Even a weed has a purpose though many only see it as a pest.

I know it is not easy to look beyond what you are going through at the moment. Sometimes I can't see past today. Wondering why I can't walk like I used to? Why did I have to have this Lymphedema on top of it all? Well, I remember my mother saying she couldn't understand why God let her get Cushings Syndrome and become crippled for life. I am not sure why we have to get diseases and accidents that impair us for life. Maybe it is not apparent to me right now. For myself, I have satisfied myself with the answer that I have to be an example or a helper in some way to others. 

I LOVE BUNNIES!!!!

A few days ago the thing that was upsetting me was that I had been banned on "fakebook" (as I call it, I know that is not its name and I don't care) for commenting "head shot" on a photo of a wild rabbit looking directly in the camera. Of course anyone who knows me knows I would NEVER be promoting shooting a rabbit with anything other than a camera! When they said that to me and that I was going against community standards that was it for me. I knew I did not want to be censored by them any longer or belong to their so called community.  The thing is I have felt for a very long time that fakebook promotes violence every day. So I am not planning on going back. When my time is up I will be taking all my own content off and give everyone my contact information. 

Copyright © 2022 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2022  Kathleen G. Lupole

Trying to Understand the Seniors' Healthcare System

I am beyond frustrated with the so called health care for seniors system. System it is. The representatives on the phone are useless. All they want is to sign you up for personal aide services whether you need it or not. The only thing I needed was dental, vision and foot care. They refuse almost everything from those but want you to sign up for personal care. Hard to believe they approved that for fifteen hours a week! I don't have enough work in my apartment for fifteen hours a week! It is a crazy. I need teeth, eyes and feet instead! If someone else did all my household chores then what would I be doing? To tell the truth, I really like being as independent as I can and that includes cleaning and caring for my home. 

It is no secret that I have no respect for allopathic medicine. I feel like they want me to have something wrong. So I do not trust them or their tests. I know many people will swear by them because they saved their lives. But at what cost? How many parts did they cut off your body? How many prescriptions did you put into your body? How many side effects have you suffered from? I think when they see a senior citizen coming they think about all the profits they can make from them. 

Maybe I am wrong, but then again it is my choice. I do not like to have services or processes pushed on me. It seems to me a better system would be that your insurance carrier would just approve you for a certain dollar value of services for a certain number of years. When you use it up you are done till a certain date. Then it starts over. It should include all services, even the so called alternative medical. Instead of giving doctors bonuses for certain drugs they prescribe, give bonuses for keeping patients healthy and alive to certain ages. Reward them for doing a good job not how many prescriptions they can write.

The one I have been using will not pay for anything else unless I accept the aide for fifteen hours. The aide I spoke to on the phone said it is not worth it to her to work two hours a week for me. So I have declined all aides now and will forego my dental and vision and figure out how to cover those expenses myself. I am struggling to stay free of any more debt. I could pay on credit for the dental but just don't want to do that. The vision I can pay for if I save up for it over a few months. In the mean time, I am wearing my old pair of glasses that I tried and found that they were better for reading and the computer. As for my feet, I am cutting my nails myself and the bad toes I am using essential oils on. I could always get a pedicure at my hair salon but right now I am trying to be very frugal. I do what I can myself and will stick with my own plan for now. 

Copyright © 2022 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2022  Kathleen G. Lupole

Computer Know How Using Ubuntu 22.04

I was never really technologically talented. All the years before moving here in 2018, my husband took care of all that for me. It was a learning experience for me when I bought a new computer last year. There was no way I was keeping Microsoft on it! I had been using Ubuntu for over six years already and did not want to change back. Just firing it up for the first time the Microsoft spider web tried to steal it from me. I quickly learned how to install Ubuntu and removed the nasty Windows from this computer for good. There are still traces of it in some areas since they just cannot believe you would be happy without it. I am though.

Even though I was using it every day there were some programs in the old computer that I could not access in the new one. I would work on it for hours and then give up. One big thing that I could not use was Libre Office. Not being able to get it installed was heartbreaking for me. Everything I have written for years was in that program and if I could not use it on my new computer that meant I would never be able to see those documents again. Including my eBooks! Everything I read said that Libre Office was included in Ubuntu when you install it in your computer. It was not the case for me. 

My helper

I started working on all this yesterday because I could not use my printer anymore. Just one day my computer could not print from it nor even find it. I worked for about four months on trying to figure out what to do. It made no sense to me because I had used it on this computer many times. Yesterday, since fakebook banned me from their stupid site, I spent time on figuring out what was wrong with my printer. I searched on Ubuntu's and Brother's sites and found my problem. I didn't even need to download a driver which is what I thought I had to do. I removed all the printers showing up and added the printer I have (which was the same one as one of those I removed.........). Worked immediately!

That encouraged me so much that I searched how to install Libre Office in Ubuntu. Followed the directions I found there and in a minute there it was! If I could dance around the room, I would have. I found all my old documents that I could access. Now I will go into my old external hard drive and transfer more of them into the newer external hard drive I am using now. The newest version of Ubuntu I am using is 22.04 Jammy Jellyfish and I am quite happy with it. I don't normally like to upgrade to anything due to it changing things in my computer. So far I am okay with it as long as I can use my printer and Libre Office.

Since yesterday was such a good day, I decided to solve another problem I had today. The graphic program I use is called GIMP (GNU Image Manipulation Program). I kept getting the dreaded "Permission Denied" message. No matter what I did I could not open the photos in the external hard drive in it to edit. I had to copy them to the picture file on the computer's hard drive. Edit and then transfer them back to the external hard drive. It wasn't that hard to do but I resented having to do that extra step. Especially for something that used to be easy on my old computer. This morning I went to GIMP's site and found that it was a very easy fix. I learned how to allow the permission and it worked instantly! Happy dance here! 

Copyright © 2022 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2022  Kathleen G. Lupole

Heart of God Fellowship in Owego, NY

 

Heart of God ~ Owego, NY

In 2006, I started going to the Heart of God church in Owego, NY. It was a very long drive. About fifty miles or so one way and could not keep up with going. This little church with a tiny congregation was powerful. At least in my life it was. Even though I had been baptized as an infant in the Catholic Church I had never attended one.......well once. I went with a family of friends to the one in Norwich, NY. The first thing that happened after mass was the priest welcomed me. Then a woman who must have worked for the church came right over to me to tell my where I had to go for Catholic instructions and then how much I had to pay for going to church there. Wanting to know my household income, not my income but "household" income. Even though my husband was not coming to the church. I was out of there. Never wanted to go back to a Catholic Church after that experience.

The reason I went to church in Owego at The Heart of God was because I met Pastor Joy in my mother-in-law's hospital room. I felt her energy when she walked into the waiting room! It was a feeling I had never had in my whole life. Not long after meeting her, I convinced my husband to take me to her church on Easter. I will never forget that day! It was one of my happiest days. The welcome that we received as soon as we sat down was amazing! 

I thought we had become good friends with the people there and Pastor Joy and her husband, Arden. Along with other issues, including the long drive to the church every Sunday, I had to stop going there. It was a sad time for me. The people there were having conflicts with each other at the time and it was just not good to attend any longer. After that I did not go to any other church. Nobody could measure up to Pastor Joy and when I did hear someone else preaching, including on the internet, something was missing.

Pastor Joy's Sermon

August 14, 2022

Since I watch YouTube, it wasn't long before I started following Pastor Joy's moving sermons on her channel there. It is helping me at this point in my life. I feel so much conflict around me lately. It always goes back to that problem of other people always thinking they are right about everything. Even though if you look at their life it doesn't seem to be so. I just keep my thoughts to myself as I used to. I have always done that and probably always will.  If you watch these videos, there is a part 2 on each of them. They are worth watching and subscribe to her channel if you can.

Pastor Joy 2011

You get to a certain time in your life and you do not want conflicts in your life any more. So I just make small talk with others. Not about me and what I think or feel. I write those thoughts for myself in my journal. Life should not be about defending your choices or beliefs. I do something I learned when I went to Al-Anon some years back when I was married to an alcoholic. It is called "distancing yourself". I do it all the time. It works. Then whatever they do and how it affects their own life is their choice. Not trying to change anyone's mind to believe what I believe or do. Though I keep in mind that you should surround yourself with 'like minded people". Unfortunately, I have not met any in person. 

Copyright © 2022 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2022  Kathleen G. Lupole

Caring For Yourself As You Get Older

One of the things I did a number of years back, when I lived on my homestead was to make a list of all the things I hated about my life. I was miserable. I thought life would just get worse and worse as time went on. I would try to picture what I would be doing ten years from then. It was not a pretty picture. Making a change in your life is never easy but if you want to change anything, you need to recognize that you matter. Yes, you do! You need to put others aside and do what you can for yourself. I always say that self-care is not selfish. It is essential! 

I recognize that there are a lot of people who are living alone now. Especially in the older population. So you would think they would have more time in practicing self-care. In fact, they may have the time but they don't do it. For no other reason then they don't have the incentive to do it. Some people have spent their whole lives caring for other people and putting themselves last. Now when they can really spend the time and maybe money on themselves they don't. There are many people who don't practice self-care because they don't feel worthy enough for it. Negativity gets you nowhere fast! 

Self-care is different in your sixties and seventies. Not anywhere near the way I practiced self-care in my twenties and thirties. Back then I was a stay at home mother and had the time (and due to my situation, the money too) to care for myself. From 1988 to 2018, my life was not my own even though I did not have a child at home anymore. Working at various jobs every day and taking care of a home and trying to make my marriages work took up all my time. 

In my twenties, self-care was all about beauty and my looks. Reading all the latest fashion magazines and doing all the latest trends. When I think back to those times I marvel at how into those beauty routines and products I was. In my sixties and now seventies, I find myself more into healthy self-care practices than ever before. What is important to me now? What will be important to me ten years from now? Not beauty that is for sure. It is definitely my health and my happiness. My ability to stay independent is very important to me. Health and happiness is the key to that independence. Unhappy people are not usually healthy. I am sure there are exceptions. 

In my own experiences, after years of not being able to practice any self-care due to my living situation, I am eagerly addressing it now. These are the things I do now:

1. I take daily minerals and vitamins, extra magnesium and electrolytes twice a day. 

2. I drink water. 

3. Do not eat any sugar, grains, fruits, starchy vegetables or seed oils. 

4. Make sure to eat plenty of protein and healthy fats.

5. Have my hair trimmed, styled and colored regularly (it makes me happy) at my salon.

6. Walk daily for exercise if possible outside.

7. Wear compression stockings (for Lymphedema).

8. Do dry brushing and use Magnesium oil before my shower. 

9. Keep my skin moisturized (important for Lymphedema).

10. Deep breathing (important for Lymphedema).

11. Dental care

12. Vision care

13. Maintain a safe and clean environment.

14. Socialize. Yes, friends are good for you even if it is just a few. 

15. Keep my mind active. I find the computer does this for me. I have many activities on my computer that are not social media that I do almost daily.

16. Family. Connect with family members and stay in contact if possible. 

If you find you need help in doing your self-care there are ways to get help. Call your local office of the aging and tell them what you need. They are there to help and most importantly, they want to keep you in your home. I know people will say they don't want to ask for help because they are afraid they will be taken out of their home. That has not been the case where I live. Instead they send help in some form or other. But you must tell them what problems you are experiencing so they can help.

Copyright © 2022 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2022  Kathleen G. Lupole