How Does Old Feel? When Are You Old?

As I hear more and more people talk about getting old I keep wondering when are you actually old? How does old feel? Does it really matter in real years how many years you have lived? If it is a matter of how you feel no matter what age you are I can understand that. I think I felt worse than I do today seven years ago. Now I live with pain in both of my knees but any age person can have that. Back then I had to get up and do chores whether I wanted to or not. Now I can take it easy if I am in pain. I will admit that now I do not do the same type of chores so it is easier anyway. For me my health started giving me trouble when I turned fifty. That was also the year my mother died so it was a tough year. Very stressful!

 

I love to spend time coloring!

Stress and worry seem to go hand in hand with health conditions. If you are experiencing a health condition but also worrying about something it could make it worse. I am a worrier so I know it is difficult to shut it off. What I have found works for me is to start coloring in one of my adult coloring books. Then I think about the problem that is causing me to worry so much. Sometimes I come up with solutions for that problem. Often I put music on while I color and don't think about anything but the song and the colors. Music and color therapy almost always helps me. Sometimes I write in my journal and make a list of what I can do to change it. That works pretty good too. 

Choose your weapon!

Yeah we look different as we get older. Even our animals do. Just a part of the living process. I think that is why you see people who use cosmetic surgery to look younger ruin their remaining years instead. The natural process of aging always looks better than what a doctor in the operating room can do. So many of the famous stars, men and women, have become grotesque after their surgeries. You can make yourself look better by using your tweezers, applying lotions or adding some color to your eyebrows and face. For myself, I only use beef tallow for my face lotion. It works great and is safer than what the lotions made for aging have in them.

My son, Jeff with my Daddy

I may not look as good as I did when I was younger but I feel good and enjoy living. Keeping a positive attitude helps. Complaining and whining does not help anyone. It is one of my pet peeves. It breeds negativity and that is the most harmful substance there is. Every morning when I was a child at home I woke up to hear my Daddy whistling in the kitchen as he prepared breakfast before he had to leave for work. It was my favorite time! I would hurry out to be with him before he had to leave. He was always cheerful and I loved to be with him. Even as he got older. It was hard on him when my Mom got sick and eventually passed away. But he stayed busy doing the things he always did. He showed a cheerful face to everyone but I know he was hurting inside. 

First spring flowers in the park!

So when anyone asks me how I am I always say I am good. I don't tell them all the aches and pains I have. I don't tell them all the things I am worried about. Instead I focus on the good things I have going today. You know what happens? As I talk to them I feel good again. I forget all those things I was worried about. I put the pain out of my mind. I focus on how lucky I am compared to others who are worse off. Or others who are depressed or miserable with their life. I come away thinking about what I am going to do today. Instead of feeling old..........I feel alive!

Copyright © 2025 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2025 Kathleen G. Lupole

 

Wake Up Every Day With Positive Thoughts

 

Every morning when I awaken I think of a positive thought for my day. No matter what I am going through at the moment I bring that positive thought to mind. To focus on something other than my troubles. No matter what I do there will always be something that is not good going on. Often I am telling myself not to dwell on it. Things will work out some way or other. Worrying makes it worse.

Just one day at a time is brilliant advice. I have found it more useful though as I got older. If I can make it through today that is all that matters. Thinking too far ahead in the future can be depressing. Since I have no way of knowing what is ahead so why should I worry about it? Think happy thoughts or at least positive ones. It can be as simple as thinking I will have a good cup of coffee this morning. Or I will clean out my storage locker today. Whatever gets you thinking about doing something you can do rather than what you cannot do.

At least for me, I can worry and think constantly about a problem and don't get anywhere with it. As soon as I stop thinking about it and get motivated to do something else that worrisome problem is gone. It worked itself out. At times the problems I am overwhelmed about turn out to be a blessing in disguise. If I hadn't had that problem in the first place I wouldn't have had to change the way I was doing something. The change is usually for the good. 

This morning when I woke up I thought about what I was going to make for my meals today. Very positive thinking! That is one reason I make sure to have my kitchen clean every night right after supper. I used to let my dishes sit until after supper. Then a change I made a few months ago is to wash dishes after each meal or when doing food preps. It is easier for me since I cannot stand still for very long without being in pain (from my knees). When I walk into my clean kitchen in the morning to get my coffee I feel good (yes, just like the song says!).

It is those little changes that seem to make a difference for me. If I am sad about something I will watch Seinfeld reruns to cheer me up. If I am worried about my health I will go for a walk or go sit in the park and people watch. Pretty soon I am not worrying anymore. If I can't do something about whatever it is at this moment then I am not going to waste my time on it any longer. Later on whatever it was is gone or just does not seem to be that important any longer. Life is too short to worry it away. 

Copyright © 2024 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2024  Kathleen G. Lupole

Staying Positive In A Crazy World

I know everyone thinks of me as a positive person. Always looking for something good in every situation. Yesterday I had an appointment in my apartment with my new counselor from adult services. She is new to this job. Her boss told her she was sending her out on a fun appointment and that I had a pet rabbit! Now I take that as a compliment! You know how many of those social workers can be difficult to talk to or even make a joke with. I do remember earlier in the year having an appointment with her boss and we were laughing and sharing stories about our experiences on building our family trees. Mine has become quite extensive and talking about it is something I love to do. That is another post for another day.

It is not easy staying positive when things around you are crazy. I live in a senior housing apartment building so many of my friends and neighbors are elderly and/or disabled. Some can use a computer and some just use a phone. Others will say proudly that they don't know how to use a computer. Then they are knocking on my door asking me to find something online or print out something for them. One neighbor uses the computer across the street at the library. At least he uses one. 

One of the things I am not too positive about is getting Libre Office (the writing software I use in my computer) into this new computer. I was used to having someone else do these things for me and having to learn to do it on my own is a whole new thing. I am determined to work it out. I do not use Windows but Ubuntu as my operating system. It is more complicated when you are not a software engineer yourself. I am considering taking a class on it so that I will know how to handle all these things myself. Probably easy to do if you know what to do.

Working on the computer is something I can do even when I am unable to walk. Some days walking is incredibly difficult so sitting at my computer is a lifesaver for me. I went almost 19 years without watching any television so doing so now is not something I do a lot. At least not during the daytime hours. I am a computer person and always will be. I cannot waste my time sitting around being depressed about it. I just have to remember to get up and move around even when I am in pain. My worst pain is when I stand in place for even a little bit of time. If I keep moving, I am okay.

One thing I know about myself is that it is important for me to take my time to react to something. I make it a rule to never show my anger. Not that I don't have it, but after living with a very angry person for many years, I know it can get the better of you. You might say, write or do something that will affect your life forever. Take at least a day or more to think about it. I always write it down. Writing something has always been my way of dealing with any problem or troubling thoughts I have. Which is one reason I need to get Libre Office into this computer.............my journals are written using it. 

Every day I am grateful for the changes I made in my life in 2018. I dread to think what would have become of me if I hadn't. I think I was at my breaking point at the end of 2017 and I really thought I was going to die. The move here to my own apartment by myself has become the most significant thing I have ever done for myself. I realize now that after being married three times that I was not meant to live like that. Marriage is not for everyone and it was not for me. I was never happy and my favorite times was when my husband would leave to go somewhere. Now I wake up every morning to my own place with complete freedom of how to spend my day!

Copyright © 2021 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2021  Kathleen G. Lupole

Problems and Worries

I belong to a number of forums. They are not all homesteading ones. So there is a different mix of people and lifestyles. One thing about this winter that I have noticed is that it seems to be a hard one all over. I have been asked to pray for more people and more situations than ever before. It seems that more troubles seem to be the norm. Instead of logging on to read of good news in my online friends' lives, I read of depression due to some problem in their lives, illness or illness of a family member or friend, lost of job, not able to find a job, lost of a spouse, financial problems, etc.

Makes me wonder if it has always been like that. Or is it just being on the internet, and expanding my friend network includes so many more people? That means that at all times there will always be some having major problems at any given time. All you can do is to offer up prayers for their situation and know it is heard. I have had my share of problems over the years and have received many prayers answered.

So what are some things you can do to relieve the depression while waiting for your prayers to be answered? I am the type of person who usually tries to stay "up." It is not a hardship for me to be that way, since I am more like my father in that way.

These are things that help me stay in a positive frame of mind, even when those I am closest too are miserable, depressed and grouchy:

• Keep a sense of humor! Humor is a big thing in my family. My parents were always joking with each other and anyone else who came into their home. Even when my mother was crippled and not able to do physical things anymore, she still had her sense of humor. 
• Eat well! Make some good food. Sometimes I will have someone say they are not hungry and picking at their food as part of their down mood. I will go to work in my kitchen and make something that will cook or bake for hours, simmering slowly, filling the house with smells that will keep your stomach grumbling all day. Soon they will be wanting a little to eat, then taking second helpings and more. Food is good for the heart!
• Take a walk outside! Living in the state forest land makes it easy for me and my husband to leave our troubles behind and go out into the natural world for an hour or so every day if needed. Nothing clears my mind better than getting out among the trees and plants of the forest. Listening to the birds, seeing the sun shine in the trees or even the snow on the branches of the pines. 
• Listen to some music! Music is good for the soul. I love to put a cd in my computer that has good memories for me. I love all kinds of music so I can pick just about anything. Music from the 60's takes me back to FL where I grew up and brings good memories of a better day and time. 
• Read a book! I am an avid reader. Every night before I go to sleep I read for a couple of hours. But if I am upset about something, I can pick up a book and read and it takes my mind away from what is troubling me. If someone else is upset, like my husband, I will choose a book that will have a message I want him to hear. From the Bible, to business books, to books about people who have faced similar problems, etc.........many times I will just start reading aloud and it seems to quiet him, almost like a child hearing a story read aloud at bedtime. 
• Hug a horse! Or a dog, cat or a red hen. This works for me but not for a person who is not into animals. My husband would not be doing this on purpose. Now me...............going out to the barn and telling my horses all my torments of the day is nothing unusual. They really listen to me too.

These are just a few different things I use to relieve depression or what I call "grouchy husband syndrome" (can be interchanged with "grouchy son syndrome" or whoever is in the syndrome at that time). Do you have certain things you do to help yourself or others through problems that can't be solved right away?

Copyright © 2011  Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2011  Kathleen G. Lupole