Recently I heard someone say that age does not matter if you want to establish new goals. I agree to an extent. If the goals can be attained at an older age or with certain disabilities that we have acquired along the way. For myself, I never saw walkers and mobility chairs being in my future. Obviously I cannot race walk or work out with free weights in a gym (as I used to do in the past). I think it means that you have to change the goals you have. Start doing things you can do at your age or with whatever disability you now have. For some people that leads to depression. They can only do that one thing they used to do. Or used to aspire to do or to become. You have to let go of that dream and create new dreams!
The internet gives everyone the freedom to travel the world online. To research with a click of a mouse. Music or art can be created with a computer instead of a studio. You can start a blog and have it up and online in a few minutes. Maybe I cannot grow food in my own garden now but I can buy it from someone who does. I can make my home comfortable and happy for my rabbit and me. I have never been a real social person to begin with, so life on my own has been very satisfying so far. I am learning to handle my disabilities and live with them. Every day I am working on creating my own so called "normal life" which is not the same for everyone else.
It is true that God has given us only one life. Nobody can dispute that. The common goal everyone should share is to make the best of it. Even if you are poor or in bad health. My own mother was bedridden in her last few years. I know she had become very depressed and bitter about that fact. It did not consume her though. She crocheted 50 beautiful baby sweaters for me to sell on eBay when I needed money. It gave her life purpose and I am not sorry that I needed the money at that time. I think it was meant to be. By helping me, she was helping herself.
Not all disabilities are physically painful, but most are. So dealing with pain and actually accomplishing something can be the most difficult hurdle to clear. If you are married to someone or in a relationship with someone who does not have a disability themselves, that can cause more pain. They don't understand where you are coming from. Or why you have turned into a grumpy person who is hard to be around. Or why you can no longer do your part of the work at home. Or why you left a job or have bills for medical treatments and drugs. Or why you no longer want to be physically intimate. Soon you start feeling like you are doing something wrong. You are not.
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| "Jazzy" My Mobility Chair |
I have always written out goals or a "to do" list, whatever you want to call it. Big goals farther away. Little steps to reach those goals. Try to focus on what you need or want in your life and go after it. Now that I live here alone, I can do what I want and other people are not causing me neglect a goal. If I do that, it is me, my own fault! I will not blame someone else or the circumstances. Today write out about five long term goals. Then write smaller goals that you have to do first to attain those long term ones. Put it up where you will see it every day. Then read it over and over, every day, all day long. Let it sink into your brain. Good luck!
Copyright © 2021 Kathleen G. Lupole
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