There are some days I want to just chill. Not have any appointments or plans. Not have to talk to or entertain anyone. Eat simple food that doesn't take much preparation. Just be me. By myself. Take the day as it comes. Whatever comes to my mind I can do. I find when there are some busy days it tires me out and I just want to be home and alone. Someone used to mention wanting their "alone time" and not wanting to do anything. Yet when that person had any free time it was filled with doing chores of some kind. Well, I have plenty of "alone time" now in my present situation. I still value it and make good use of it. When you live with other people, including a spouse or other family members, it can be difficult to make time for yourself. If you do, it will recharge your state of mind so you can deal with the outside world.
There is so many products that have been developed over the years to make our lives easier and more convenient. Saves time. Time for what? Time for doing some other chore? Or for creating free time to do something you really wanted to do? I used to think I enjoyed cooking for other people. Now when I look back, I think not so much. Could be that I told myself I enjoyed it but it was a lot of work. Work hard creating a meal and it was gone in half an hour. Then the clean up. At least now when I cook a meal I can just heat it up for the next three days. That means if I don't feel like cooking or creating some big meal I can do what I like.
When someone asks what do you do all day? I have to think about it. Yet I know that person cannot appreciate my answer because what I do is different each day. Another person might think what I said I did was boring to them but probably not to me. I don't know whether it is an aging thing or health thing but I try not to talk about health conditions to others. If I talk about it too much I end up dwelling on it. I feel like, "Yeah, I have Osteoarthritis in both knees and Lymphedema but that does not define who I am." There are many people who are worse off than I am. I can deal with my own health issues privately.
In life, change is constant. Especially in the aging process, though you may not notice it at first. When you are younger it seems like it is far in the distance. It catches up with you pretty fast though. Your situations change slowly at first. Then all of a sudden you notice big changes as if they just happened. For instance, relationships with your loved ones. You go from seeing and hearing from them every day to no contact for days. Someone who used to call you five or six times a day barely calls you once. They have moved on to a life that doesn't include you anymore or at least not as much as before. It is a process you have to accept.
Accepting changes within your life must be done or else you can end up depressed and become a negative person. I have had many people come into my life and leave over the years. That is the reason for keeping yourself independent. If you depend on one person you will be sorry if they are not there for you anymore. If you have physical problems and cannot do everything yourself, there are ways to get help. Usually your local Office for the Aging will be able to help you find what you need. If you can afford it then money spent on a private aide, driver or handyman would be money well spent.
Often times the changes happening are not your own but the other person's or people in your life. If it is someone you are involved with often you will see the changes in them coming and not have it sneak up on you. Prepare for it as soon as you notice it. Don't pretend it is not happening. Many times it could be your spouse and those changes will surely affect you and your life. Maybe that person, spouse or others just get tired of your situation and doing for you. Or maybe their own health is affecting them in ways you do not know. So being independent and able to move on is the only thing you can do. Self-care has got to come first especially as you become older.
1 comment:
Kat, I agree that being independent is important in our senior years. Self-care, especially so.
Saying this, I am aware that some seniors require home-care.
An independent ATTITUDE is always a Positive!
Pinky/Lillian
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