Saturday, April 14, 2018

A Time of Sadness

Sad days, sad times, seems like I have many,
too many, I thought I found the cure for it,
then I feel the cloud covering again, what I thought
was happiness and joy. I realize it may not be
meant for me after all. My feelings got in the way.
Being a burden, to others, I know I am,
struggling to unwind the ropes I am tangled in.
How did I get here? I ask myself daily.
Most importantly, how do I remove them,
if ever, and what if I never do?
Sadness envelopes me daily, as
I hold back tears, until I am alone,
in bed with a tear stained pillow.
Will it ever end this empty feeling,
or go on and on forever?
Sadness is such a worthless way,
to live, never feeling joy,
never feeling happy, just nothing.
No feeling, nothing to look forward to,
no life outside a monitor screen.

A wasted life, a wasted woman, 
always on the outside, never able
to find the key, the days of joy,
happy filled moments, of true love
of being important to someone.
To be cared about, to matter
to matter to another being, 
whoever, whatever he may be.
I searched and searched my whole 
life, but never found that happy
life, now my life is more than half over,
and I know it is not in the cards for me.
Life is a struggle every day, and most 
days I want to just disappear.

Oh to walk down the road and 
away from here, with no looks back.
With no second thoughts or regrets,
to just keep going where no one
is familiar, and no one speaks.
To be free of all the things, 
and the ropes that confine me,
every day of my life.
Just follow the road and sleep
in a bed made of branches
and leaves, eat the roots and
wild fruits found along the way.
Does it really matter if I disappeared,
would anyone really care,
or only miss me when it is time
to cook a meal, or clean a cage?
Why is it that I feel unimportant,
and can be cast away like nothing.
A useless object, makes me want to just
whisper, "Good-bye."

Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole
All Photographs Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole

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