Happier Times Ahead

Losing myself was easy to do,

just following along, living in the moment,

not remembering what I was about.

Not making goals of my own,

or plans, I had forgotten,

for good it seemed, never mentioned again.

At times I glimpsed those dreams, in times of sadness,

a sadness that never completely left.

I wondered why, when I had it all,

or so I thought at that time,

my life had changed and I felt abandoned.

Instead of crying over what was, 

or what had changed, or why.

I decided to make my life

the way I choose, now.

Not to sit and cry or be sad,

take those steps and break away.

Cut that rope that binds me, as soon as I can.

Make my own life by myself,

dependent on no one.

Bring back my health, I know I can.

Build my friend network and laugh again,

laugh with friends, laugh with cousins,

have some fun for a change.

I am done with being sad forever,

for never having a friend,

or just not having a free day

a day to do what I want without

worrying about what someone else will say

I am done with watching my words

to not say something in a tone of voice

that someone might take the wrong way

Hoping for freedom from this life,

wishing it would come tomorrow.

I need to find myself and in doing so,

I will find happiness once again.

Once I started working on a plan,

I got excited to think I could do this.

It is really going to happen.

Now nothing will deter me as the time nears,

sorry to cause pain and hurt in doing so.

but I must do what I must do.

Have to stop putting my life on hold,

because of feeling sorry for someone.

My life was wasting away,

day by day, locked in a prison of despair.

Now I have something look forward to,

a life of joy and independence.

I can't wait.

Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole