Snowdrifts Everywhere I Look

Snowdrifts everywhere I look,

white, pure white snow,

pretty to look at.

Fun to play in.

Just one of those things,

a pretty sight,

beneath my view,

hard work.

Pretty white snow today,

means ice, slush, then mud

will be in its place

for days to come.

Just like life.

Life looks pretty, 

my life included.

Others say, 

"I look up to you."

I politely thank them.

Deep down I cry.

I know I am no one to look up to.

I know my life is not true.

It is sad,

it is lonely.

I am sad,

I am lonely,

crying into my pillow nightly.

Wishing for an escape,

that never seems to come.

Death does not seem so bad,

if it frees me from the ropes,

that keep me in a place I despise.

Is that the only choice?

Finding a new life is my dream,

a dream that seems out of reach.

Imagining a whole new me,

in a whole new life.

It consumes me day after day,

and yes, year after year.

Why can't I find my way,

my way to happiness?

I had it once a very long time ago,

but now, it has been too long to remember it.

Why does everybody else have it, 

but not me?

Why?

What did I do that was so bad,

that I can never in my whole life,

find it again? 

Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2018 Kathleen G. Lupole